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#427416 - 03/07/13 08:43 PM Re: Howyadoin(?)! @#%$&*+~!!! [Re: BraveFalcon]
CloudyFalls Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/18/12
Posts: 168
Loc: Ohio
Originally Posted By: BraveFalcon

Hee-hee. This morning I was buying my coffee at the gas station at about 6:45 AM and when the guy behind the counter asked how I was doing I said... "I don't know yet. Ask me in a few hours and I'll have a better idea." At that hour, I couldn't have given a more honest reply.


Lol, that's my best choice response in the mornings, I mean how should I feel I just woke up!
_________________________
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein

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#427494 - 03/08/13 03:22 PM Re: Howyadoin(?)! @#%$&*+~!!! [Re: traveler]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 594
how do i feel?

I feel like there is no hope. Bullies rule the world. Most "good" people are wimps who back down and close their eyes when the bullies come around. The good places, good groups, good websites -- they will all eventually be overrun by the bullies. The bullies will move in and bare their chest and the wimps will cower and flee and no good thing in this world will ever last but in the end the bullies will still be there and no one will be strong enough to face them.

you asked.
_________________________
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.

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#427737 - 03/11/13 09:46 AM Re: Howyadoin(?)! @#%$&*+~!!! [Re: traveler]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
since you are asking...

Today, I'm in brutal emotional pain; the palpable kind...the kind that feels like physical damage is being done to my heart.

I can actually see seven years of the unpredictable fears, loneliness, need for physical affection and the shame that went with it, when I went to him.

Nights of standing up all night so as to never fall asleep in fear of being killed in my sleep.

Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain. Brutal, sharp pain. Praying for some relief of just the pain.

I seek wisdom from Pastors; I get valed "your faith is not strong enough," or "you need to seek forgiveness." I've yet to find any pastor who places blame for the continued, protracted "involvement in that," on the shoulders of the perps... or of my father. "Why did you keep going back Still...that doesn't make much sense..." "You need to just try to get over it....forget about it...pray for THAT!"

I'm not kidding....I keep getting the SAME reactions over and over and over again from pastors, Psychologists and my Psychiatrist...oh...and my MD...and my sister...and friends who know.

Thanks for asking.


Edited by Still (03/11/13 09:50 AM)
_________________________
Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#427738 - 03/11/13 10:12 AM Re: Howyadoin(?)! @#%$&*+~!!! [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Still -

i don't know what to say. words are inadequate. i can't say i know how you feel. i can't say i have anything to offer. i wish i could help. i wish all those people with their stupid "answers" were more understanding. all i can do is hear you and believe you and respect you and your pain.

sorry, man.
lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#427747 - 03/11/13 01:03 PM Re: Howyadoin(?)! @#%$&*+~!!! [Re: traveler]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
@BraveFalcon - I had no idea anyone else used that line. I use it all the time...and it's the truth.

@Still - Been there w/the professions you mentioned...patronizing, clueless, one-size-fits-all. fwiw, dealing with my depression days, if I can do one thing, even if that's not enough, that will just have to be enough because I'm incapable of anything else...at the moment. No self-judgment, if possible. If it's going outside, flushing the toilet or even shower/shave, well, that's something. Not unlike learning to walk again.

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#427760 - 03/11/13 04:53 PM . [Re: traveler]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 10:42 PM)

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#427762 - 03/11/13 05:14 PM Re: Howyadoin(?)! @#%$&*+~!!! [Re: traveler]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 09:31 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#427764 - 03/11/13 05:43 PM . [Re: traveler]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 10:42 PM)

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