It was not deliberate!

I did not deliberately ruin your life!

I did not know this would come back at me...at us...at you!

I did not know it couldn't be put behind me and let me move-on.

I did what the world told me to do. I got over it. I moved-on.

Had I known I carried the Ebola virus, I would have stayed away.

I did not know that I could not just put it behind me.

I loved you...I wanted that life that we actually built. Regardless of what you say these days, I hope you wanted it too...back when we built...before we tore-down.

Another member said it this way:

so sorry! i hope s/he reads this as well. it would make him/ her feel better too.

ela

Keep expressing it.

I mean this in the nicest possible way - so I hope it comes across that way:

It feels like you are beating yourself up quite a bit. Stop that. She was a grown woman who made decisions, just like me. Sometimes I get pissed and feel I wasn't shown all the cards BUT ultimately I was/am a grown up who made/makes decisions, just like her. You guys are only half the equation NOT the whole thing.

Keep expressing it though. Getting the old stuff out is the only way I know of to let the new better stuff in.