Ken - you are all right. i love your sense of humor - or unique brand of craziness - or whatever. just my take on it - sounds pretty healthy to me - to let it out - to feel it - in a mix of emotions - sounds like you should have felt some relief afterwards - i hope - rather than just worrying about your sanity.
Hi Lee. Thanks. Yes, I did feel relief afterwards, even though I was worried about my sanity. I worry about my sanity a pretty good bit anyway, but last night I was a lot more worried about it.
Today I felt a little more stable. It sucked, just as I thought it would, but I didn't come apart emotionally at any point, nor did I even come close to it. I had a long day at work, sat in soul-sucking traffic for over an hour each way, spent about an hour and a half at the gym and now I'm back home unwinding with a cold beer. Pretty normal day. My primary emotion today was basically one of feeling emotionally dead inside and empty. That's pretty normal though. Just a normal, stable, soul-sucking day.
First of all, I've seen crazier shit on the Perimeter or GA 400 than a guy talking to himself.
Wow, a local! Yeah, I've seen a lot of crazy shit in this town. Like dudes standing on the side of the road screaming at traffic and things that aren't there. Sometimes I'm a little worried that I'm gunna be one of those dudes in about ten or twenty years. It's funny you mentioned the perimeter because that's actually where I was when this happened. My little "episode" started on 285 WB and kind of petered off after getting on 75 NB. The north-end perimeter is the bane of my existence. Small world.
BTW, you mention you have ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD myself as a kid and was determined to have a rather severe case of it. Was on Ritalin for years. Although, the therapist I used to go to thought my attention problems and my tendency to "space out" may have had more to do with some of my childhood issues than they did with ADHD or ADD. I don't really know which it is. All I know is I'm a space cadet with the attention span of a Labrador Retriever.
Well Brave Falcon,
None of us thought it would happen. When it crawled out from behind the stove. The experiences are still eating you up. You know that wanting sex less than twice a month is a dysfunction.
This isn't going to make any sense to anyone but me....
It's not that I don't want sex on a less frequent basis than anyone else does, it just that I don't want to have
sex with anyone. I get horny and everything. I probably masturbate about 2 or 3 times a week. I even have a fairly extensive collection of sex toys to help me reach orgasm. (Sorry if that's TMI). Some of those have cost me a pretty penny but I figure if the only type of sex that feels safe for me is fake sex, I may as well find a way to make the sensation realistic as possible. I'm about 99% sure I'll never have a real sexual partner again. I just don't want it and it's just not for me. I'll stick with my toys.
Oh and I don't ever have to buy those toys anniversary or Christmas or Valentines or birthday presents. I also don't have to take them out to eat. So, I save money on the back end.
But I really do think it helps to get 'it' out.
Yeah, it does. I felt like a crazy person yesterday and I kind of still do but, when my little "episode" was over, there was a part of me that thought..... "Damn, I needed that." Peace.