Kev,

You don't need to apologize. I was there, and I was the one who left. I left because I didn't know what else to do. I have been here for a year this month, and though that may seem like a long time, it really isn't, considering I am 48 years old, and have only been seriously trying to deal with my SA issues this past year. I only started therapy 2.5 months ago. So what I am saying is this, Kev I cannot give you much advice, because my life is anything but on target. Any advice I can give you must be taken with a grain of salt.

I offended you because of your age. Trust me, Kev, I meant no disrespect for your youth. I've found that age doesn't really have much do to with how much someone knows, how wise they are, or how much respect they deserve.

I am reminded of something my grandmother used to tell me, "Just because a person is old, does not mean that they deserve respect. Any fool, if he is lucky enough, will grow to be old. He is then just an old fool." I have talked to you enough until I hope you realize that I totally respect and admire you. Totally! Several of my closest friends at MS are young enough to be my sons or young brothers. They are wiser than I will probably ever be.

I left because I realized that I was confusing you, and I never want to be guilty here, on this site, of confusing anyone in their recovery. All I can tell anyone is what I know, which as I've said before, isn't much. I couldn't live with myself if I gave a young man, or an older man for that matter, bad advice that could potentially harm instead of help them. So I duck out and leave.

I need instead, to learn to shut my mouth and perhaps learn from the others, instead of talking about things I know nothing about or confusing the issues. I am also very confused on exactly what I can or cannot say in the chatroom, although as a minor, you can certainly read any of our posts. I just have to look after my own welfare. I don't want to say anything inappropriate to the young guys here. It's a weird position to be in, Kev. I work with teens for a living, and I absolutely, positively could not talk about any of this stuff or I would have my teaching certificate revoked within days and possibly be arrested. That is where I'm coming from, buddy.

Kev, I am the one who is sorry. I am sorry I was confusing you buddy. I am sorry I said anything that made you believe I didn't respect you because of your age. At 48, I'm still not good at articulating my thoughts. Sharing thoughts about SA is totally new for me, ask my wife or therapist!

No hard feelings, Kev. Honestly!

We're cool, Kev.

Good work guys, this is the kind of productive conversation that makes this place really work.

Kev and Rich, yeah it was a bit of a horrndous night, that night.
I think we all agree though, that things can always fly off in a different direction than intended, and some ppl can be hurt or offended in chat.
It always amazes me, that chat, and these boards dont get overheated more often, considering the issues involved.
Yeah, the chat did fly off course, but it can be expected, but hey, that is no big issue, and it shows in this thread.

ste

I have not ventured to the chat room yet and that evening sounds like perhaps it was one to miss! But as a nervous newcomer I have to say its great to see that this kind of respect and integrity seems to prevail! And it is so refreshing to see that age is not a problem. Well done to both of you - and especially to you Kevin. It isnt easy to admit in front of the whole group that perhaps you were wrong and behaved badly, but it was the right decision to step up and say so. That takes real courage and we can all see the result. I admire you for that.

Larry

Rich

Rubbish! this whole topic shows that you, and so many others, are articulating some of the hardest things we'll ever be expectad to articulate, "Emotions".

I have no idea what went on in Chat, but what I see here is people who have every right to express anger and rage ( at their abusers ) expressing understanding both for themselves and others.

Dave

Guys.....

**** A M E N ****** Dave!!!!!!

Howard

Kev, it is the coolest cartoon
That night if i remember, you were getting a little bit hit on every side, by ppl making suggestions n stuff.
One thing i always thought when i was a kid, was this, that nothing cant be fixed, and if you got the tools, and you have, then what more do you need in life.

thnx,

ste