good insight, D!
i have always been aware of my masks - and was very conscious of keeping them firmly in place. i valued them because they kept me - if not safe - then, at least feeling a little less vulnerable. i guess i was taught to create and wear at least one - the "good boy" by the parents - so that no one would look too close or question or discover too much about our family. but i soon began creating others for different situations - and was quite adept at switching them almost seamlessly.
i discover as i go on, i have a desire to be know for who i am behind the masks. that version of myself is probly most clearly seen right here on MS. but even here there is a degree of self-protection. i think as i become more whole, the mask i wear comes to resemble the real me behind it more and more.
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago