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#426709 - 02/27/13 10:08 PM Bullies and your kids
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6500
Loc: Terminus
I'm posting here at F&F so that you folks may reply if you wish.

****TRIGGER WARNING****

I have issues with bullies, as I consider the four perps to have been just that --- bullies.

MS has a connection of some type with the GoodMen Project (an online magazine). There's yet another article I felt I need to bring over. Its not the most dramatic, the deepest in content or most likely to win an award. Its just about a little boy who didn't make it. Here's the link.


Here's the boy:
_________________________
When the phone don't ring, I'll know its you.

The Aftermath Video

My Absolute Hero!

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#426793 - 02/28/13 07:13 PM Re: Bullies and your kids [Re: Still]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2016
Loc: durham, north england
That is quite an artical, the problem is I can believe it. had I had access to an efficient method of suicide I would've found trustworthy when i was 13-15, I'd have done exactly the same, indeed it sometimes scares me that the principle reason I didn't wasn't inner strength or anything noble, it was simply that as a child who knew lots of biology plus his own limitations, I didn't want to try something and end up just hurting myself, since ultimately that wouldn't have achieved anything.

My question however is it's all very well to start "encouraging kids to speak out against bullying" but that is assuming the child knows! he or she is being bullied.

i genuinely assumed that everyone, particularly my brother who was at a different school to me experienced the same thing, and that I was simply not right. Part of this of course was the s/xual humiliation and very literal and regular incidents of public gang rape, part of it was the fact that the teachers were too focused on keeping their school open to want to listen to any complaints at all, but a major part was simply a language barrier.

When i told my parents for instance that "A girl said she liked me " at school that day (when I was 14), my mum's instant positive response and desire that I see more of this girl was so different from the actual situation (given that she'd also been forceably fondling my penis at the time), that i felt literally unable! to say anything.

It's what I've heard of as the paradox of abuse, that A, everyone experiences the same, and B, your totally alone, ---- heck, since while the physical violence, public exposure and other such incidents happened with boys the idea of several girls essentially gang raping a boy in public is so unlike what our society teaches about gender politics it's utterly out the window, ----- indeed my mum was the first to use the word "raped" in context of what happened to me, which I suppose is logical given that most 19 year old males don't! have panic attacks at being seen without a shirt.

Indeed all of my own experiences wouldn't have come out had my parents not noticed when I was 15 there was something wrong and got me to admit (after a long set of prompting), the physical violence and insults side of things, and though they pulled me out of school that was three months before I left, and even then, the word "bullying" had an extremely uncomfortable connotation, much less admitting all the s/xual stuff, indeed I remember sitting through several assemblies where teachers told us all about bullying and how evil and wrong it was, thinking that didn't apply to me then being smacked in the head when i crossed the wrong person's path in the corridor.

So, as a genuine question since I would never! want any child to go through what I did, how! does such an initiative actually work when neither the victims nor the bullies have any context or understanding of what is happening, since to them it is just all part of school, no, I don't think anyone involved in my own abuse even in the s/xual stuff genuinely recognized it as wrong or hurtfull, it was just something to make school a bit more fun and after all it was just a joke and everyone else made jokes about that one boy.

Short of walking around school with a cctv camera on me constantly, i genuinely don't know how to deal with this, indeed the only way i think my own abuse would've been prevented is by not going to a school that was a hell hole, ---- which wasn't my choice or indeed my parents.

I don't ask this to challenge the artical or to find company for my misery, I genuinely would be interested to know if someone has! got any sort of answer to this.

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