Did that, faced a big thing, big for me anyway. Used in a porn movie as a kid. Only once that I know of and compared to some here who got used in many, I was lucky. My T told me when I started it is not a competition but I still know I'm lucky it was only one.
So now, I can't think of how it could get worse then that or what comes next. It sure does not hit me like it did before I walked through it in T and yeah, the Spirit was there with me.
Now I'm wondering, who or what am I? I am not who I was before. I was never what they told me I was, just good for "that" and nothing more. Was not what I heard at home, sometimes stuff like stupid lazy little bastard, go away and cry so I don't have to see you. But what now? I want so much to move on and work a real job, feel like I have a place in this world, in the normal world. Then again, everyone describes "normal" as different, so I don't even know what normal is for life. Maybe really it's just an illusion on the outside and different for everyone on the inside.
School would be great if I could get back but no way to pay for that, not now anyway.
I survive, and I am a SURVIVOR. What next God? I am hyper a lot, but will try to listen quietly for the answer. His answers come in His time, but He has gotten me this far, and the shadows no longer walk in my dreams.
Edited by BuffaloCO (09/06/13 10:42 PM)
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato