It doesn't seem or feel like 10 years have past!
That the boy I was that couldn't sleep, the one who had nightmares when he did. The one who couldn't cry or allow him self to feel. The boy you helped to become a man.
With out your advice, your kind words, your understanding. With out you pushing me forwards making me question what I through was true. Helping me find friends, and a new family here on MS.
I hope you would be proud of who I grew up into... [Remembering that when I was 10 years younger I didn't think I would make it to here! Couldn't see myself as an adult. Didn't want to be an adult].
I am indebted to you forever, for the love and friendship you showed to me as a lost child in a world, and shall carry on "Paying it Forwards", by in turn helping others become more always.
As I look around a site which when I was a teen, had supported and guiding me through the worst of times, I feel strangely at home, even though there are ten-thousand new names of siblings I have yet to meet.
When you were here, you introduced me to CyberChild, another teen at the time who was just as lost and confused as I was. When you died it cemented our friendship in time its self. For 10 years later, me and CyberChild's friendship is still as strong as ever. I even flew out to the USA (for the 5th time) to spend xmas and new year with him. And one of my favourite memories is when we both flew to Amsterdam your city, and had a drink to celebrate you.
The child you knew didn't have any good memories, just pain. I wish I could share with you now all these new memories I have created, all the exciting things I have done. And to let you know that the pain, the nightmares have nearly all gone, (Yes I still have the odd bad day, but it's not everyday). Thank you for not getting mad when I said I didn't believe you that one day it would get better, I guess I had to live it to believe it.
Now I need to go, I have a class of 30 eight-years to teach in the morning, and time and healing and yes even 2 year of therapy (I remember always swearing blind to you and most other people on MS I would never go do that!) has allowed me to sleep peaceful, as I hope you are now.
Catch you on the flip side.
If your not livin on the edge your taking up to much space!
DISTUBED VISIONS OF AN UNDERWORLD!!