Kicked in the balls
freshly kicked in the balls
I ponder
How will I get thru this night?

Flashback City --- open fo bizness
Kids just left
Went to the parent not shredded
Went to the parent who had that life
I Still, want that life
Want that life

My kids
My life
No life
No kids

Knew Life
Knew kids
Lost life
Lost kids

Facing night


Now what do I do? How will YOU get through THIS Friday night?

Step one: realize you ARE that crazy fuck they called you at 8yo, 9. 10, 11, 12, 46! BTW: how does an 8yo get called "crazy?" Fagboy was understandable...no one questioned crazy?

Step two: realize options for the night.

how bout YOU dudes?

Hey Still,
I hope it will not be difficult night for you.
We here have again snow falling for couple of hours and it is very quiet night.
I as kid used to love such nights; walking trough the middle of the road without many cars if any at first and watching snowfall.
Silence was the best!

It always helps me to think on some nice and happy memories during some anxious time, sometimes it is about games that I liked, dogs that we tried to keep from streets, great summers that I spent on river side, winters with piles of snow...
Those are safe and carefree moments that every boy enjoyed.

Pero

well . . .

this is a good step = reaching out.

and writing always helps me - you are doing that.

reading, music, a walk - (maybe not in your weather!) - or something physical.

stay connected.

all sounds pretty feeble as suggestions.

no real answers.

- but i hear you.

Lee

When I was a wee one, there was a bitch of a snow stornm. the parents had a blazing party going. My sisters and frnds went for a wilding. No shoes, no sox. Jammies only. Could not see shit. I followed. Went to the nearby baseball field and ran bare-foot and bare legged through a foot of snow. Made snow angels that nearly killed us. Oh What A Night!

Still,

There is a store near where I live that has all kinds of used books, CDs, DVDs, X-Box games, etc. They also have used vinyl albums that I look through to find frameable album covers for the bonus room. The problem is that the price labels are often placed on the front of the album. Anybody who remembers vinyl knows the album art is all part of the listening experience.

Bear with me.

Back to my used albums.

Sometimes the label peels right off and sometimes the stupid thing tears and leaves a mark on the cover. I don't know why some come off and others do not--the labels are always the same.

Maybe some employees use a heavy hand when putting those things on. Maybe it is the album material--matte versus glossy...or whatever. It's aggravating when they stick and makes me not want to fool with making them "frame worthy."

But I bought them with the best intentions.

I like vinyl albums. They are worthy of protection. Careful de-labeling make take a while, but the payoff is worth it. The label was put on by an unwitting person, not caring about the damage it does to the album cover below-the real value in this transaction.

So Still, that is what I am doing tonight. I'm de-labeling the U2 "War" album with an X-Acto knife. The label is stuck fast, but I'm going to do it. It's tedious, but I'm not letting a cheap label ruin a cool album cover. I urge you to do the same. For an album. For yourself.

I'm not trying to be flippant in the least, but those people who labeled you...well, I question their credentials. I've seen the work you've posted and the passion with which you do it.

I'm sorry for the dark night you're experiencing. Words on a screen can only do so much, but I'm trying anyway. Gather your thoughts, get busy-do something and look at this in the light of day.

Will

Hey Will,
I have friend who is passionate collector of vinyls and he is just visiting me for some flea market that will be held here on Sunday, this time he would like to sell some of his vinyls, lol

Still,


Those are great memories my friend, you brought smiles to my face. I can imagine small feet without shoes making way trough a foot of snow
It is magic when kids push all limits for something like making snow angels I can imagine how good time you have had!

How was your night?

Pero

That's the micro-focused stuff I learned to do as an escape as a kid IF there was a party going on in the house, thus being assured HE would not come up the stairs...but for some reason drunks felt like they could open my bedroom door and have convos with a little kid. If was feeling brave, I'd go all bug-eyed n stuff and freak them out till they left.

I'm trying to resurect a 1950 Civil Defense Geiger Counter I bought in the early 70s (so I'd know exactly how many radioactive particles pass through me) I KNOW....super freak. See why they called me crazy?

Will send video of it working again (if).

Was not a good night BTW: Not at all.

Sorry Still. I didn't think you would have the best of nights.

Now the Geiger counter thing...I bought an old CD Geiger counter from our next door neighbor when I was 8. After getting my dad to re-solder the battery pack, it worked just fine and even had a "test source" on the side...I don't know what it was---but I suppose it emitted alpha particles.

I dragged it out when Chernobyl blew up and went from rain puddle to rain puddle to see if there was any increased radioactivity. My mom tossed it out during a cleaning fit once. She had no idea how much I liked it and felt horrible for getting rid of it. True story.

Hang in there.

Will

See Will,

Many people have NO idea the value of some of our toys ("toys" meaning anything we think is cool). Some of the most mundane stuff is gold to boys, especially, it seems, if they are introverted.

My CD Geiger was FRESH out of a fallout shelter. They were not available in the 70s as "retired or surplus." But I had an opportunity to get one and thought I struck coolness gold. So I got it at about 12ish and then began to obsess about rad-levels. I hooked a speaker to it so I could leave it on and listen to the atomic traffic click...along with my music, along with my talk radio and along with the dog snoring.

My father would go through "throw this shit-out" fits. It always involved violence and great terror. I gave up on the thing during one of those days.

done with lol