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#426129 - 02/22/13 11:28 AM Fathers and Sons
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
I just about lost it watching this story:
(Update...it was uploaded to YouTube so I could embed...and I'm outta Kleenex)

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#426144 - 02/22/13 01:33 PM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
i hate the fact that "nice stories" can trigger as much and as hard as others.

...........................

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#426203 - 02/22/13 11:27 PM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
traveler Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3196
Loc: back in the USA
yeah - glad that at least somebody got it right
- but angry and sad that i never had it like that.
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#426337 - 02/24/13 06:31 PM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Well, you turned on the water-works here too.

Back when I traveled near constantly, I saw a lot of those. One night...............

Posted a few years back:

They moved clumsily through the non-secure, arrival area of the airport. The Mom, the grandparents, the aunts, uncle. Their little group of about 8 positioned themselves so that no arriving passenger was going to get past the filter they became.

The signs, the balloons and cameras did not even phase him. He looked to be about 12ish. He looked as if he was waiting for something awfully special…but very nervous too. He clearly had been crying a lot. Mom, aunts and uncles jumped with excitement and sometimes gave him a tug to test his excitement. He stood, he fidgeted and swayed holding on tight to a sign the aunt just gave him.

“Excuse me...what flight did you come off of?” they’d ask people over and over again as they streamed past. Then a scream….”that’s HIS flight!” They became really excited. The boy bounced and peered down the long terminal hallway. More and more passengers walked by. Eye’s were glued down that hall…necks craned. Then numerous screams in unison. The boy froze, then yelled "DAD!!!" louder than any background noise in the entire airport combined. The great brown camouflage man ran down the hall. Tears flowing down the frozen boy’s face. The great man bypassed mom, grans and all others. He ran to his boy. The sign drops to the floor. The boy is lifted and spun.

Not a dry eye in that part of San Antonio airport!

Welcome home G.I. Joe....and God Bless!
_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

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#426340 - 02/24/13 06:53 PM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Still]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6708
Loc: USA
Many of us had huge vacuums in our lives instead of loving, caring fathers. I think this vid evokes tears in us.

Puffer

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#426438 - 02/25/13 03:27 PM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 827
Loc: Kc,Mo
I have to say I will never no that feeling being a son
But being a Father I can give all i have into raising my 3 sons and one day I hope they can hug me like that .

For those of us that are Fathers all we can do is be the best dam father we can be and give our children a life that we deserved to have.

No tears for me only reaffirms my duties as a father
I have gotten over what could have been and i choose to focus what is and what is within my control

Good stuff , not saying that it is not ok to wonder what if

Just saying this is where i am and i understand everyone is in a different place
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
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Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
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http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
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#426524 - 02/26/13 01:08 AM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Still]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Originally Posted By: Still
The boy froze, then yelled "DAD!!!" louder than any background noise in the entire airport combined. The great brown camouflage man ran down the hall. Tears flowing down the frozen boy’s face. The great man bypassed mom, grans and all others. He ran to his boy. The sign drops to the floor. The boy is lifted and spun.

My eyes are also welling up with tears, reading this. I would give anything to know what that feels like...
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#426546 - 02/26/13 10:18 AM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: crazy gecko]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: crazy gecko
I would give anything to know what that feels like...


I've been going through a ton of stock (license) photos lately looking for contents of one of my legislative/lobbying web pages. I had stumbled upon an entire genre of photos that rip my heart out.

They are painful in that I see clearer and clearer what I missed with regards parental love.

Those hugs in the video above, the hugs and love in the homecoming I wrote of...I knew none of those. I loved my parents. Event though... Even though I attached to a revolving door of hired help who could not reciprocate as true mothers; Even though the man I though was the center of the universe beat me unpredictably, kicked me like a 3rd-world stray dog and would torture my soul with sun-set to sun-rise sessions of pee-my-pants horror...I still loved them.

Going through those stock photos and some of MY family, I would literally go breathless at the demonstrated affection and returned love that I never knew.

A while ago, I sent to my one-surviving sister a photo of the Romney Family, all gathered, squished together on one piece of furniture and looking alive. i added a note to her; "We never knew this...not once." Her response; "no...not even once."


I never knew the feeling of nature and due safety provided by either parent...reciprocated love...and I never knew an ounce of physical affection --- from him.
_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

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#426547 - 02/26/13 10:27 AM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
traveler Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3196
Loc: back in the USA
oh, man - you're killin me! i have such a hard time seeing these.

and i hate it that every time i see a photo like those - my mind instantly jumps to - "i wonder what really goes on when nobody else is looking..." how sick is that? and guess who taught me to think that way?
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#426549 - 02/26/13 10:40 AM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Quote:
"i wonder what really goes on when nobody else is looking..."


When no one is looking...or listening too?

No CSA went on in my house as a kid, but the violence was off the freakin hook!

I know I was often loud enough for the neighbors to hear --- even in the cold weather when the windows were closed. I know, because kids from surrounding houses would tell me they heard.

But no matter, in the late 60 and early-to-mod 70s, proper white-bread families were not messed with when it came to child abuse. The term "Child-Abuse" did not even exist for people outside "inner-cities."
_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

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#426599 - 02/26/13 06:55 PM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
traveler Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3196
Loc: back in the USA
yeah -
at my house, the CSA was silent - nothing to hear - but the physical abuse was pretty loud - but i think most of the yelling was by him.
you know the old saying -"spare the rod and spoil the child." i can't even imagine how may rods were spoiled on me. but then there were always belts, etc.
no - nobody would have thought of interfering.
and i always knew enough to smile for the camera.
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#426633 - 02/27/13 12:45 AM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: traveler]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Originally Posted By: traveler
yeah -
at my house, the CSA was silent - nothing to hear - but the physical abuse was pretty loud - but i think most of the yelling was by him.

Are we related? Cause you're describing my family. CSA was silent. Even sobbing while being abused resulted in severe punishment. Screaming would probably have got us beaten close to death. But the yelling and cursing and throwing things and beating everyone up - damn. Unless the neighbours were stone deaf, they must have heard...

I guess it just wasn't their business. Back then people knew to stay out of other people's business. smirk
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#426690 - 02/27/13 03:03 PM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 09:22 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#426699 - 02/27/13 07:23 PM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 643
Loc: michigan
ya know guys
It is amazing how normal the whole thing seemed. I remember once when the some of the bullies at school bashed my head with a rock and dad came up to the school. He asked me at 13 if I thought I should go to the Dr. It was dad! of course I was tougher than them... no I didn't go. bled pretty much the whole year I feel it marked me for that final perp and nothing was ever said or done. one day at T I told about all this and I was angry .. I nearly hit, well I did pound my fist into my leg but I calmed and left. later I was with my son and as I talked to him I became so angry again. I told my son the story and how I never felt safe or protected and I got angry and hit the car and cried with him as well. and after a minute he said to me " you know dad if it makes any difference... you never let me feel that way" and ya know ... it made all the difference in the world.


Edited by newground (02/27/13 07:24 PM)
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#426702 - 02/27/13 08:24 PM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
traveler Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3196
Loc: back in the USA
yes, newground - i know what you mean. telling my wife about the dodge-ball incident, she was just incredulous that parents would have done nothing like that - but i accepted it as normal at the time. that's why it hit me so hard when it all came up now - i had never looked at it through normal adult eyes as a parent and seen what really happened. the reality check was shocking. i get you.
lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#426716 - 02/28/13 12:01 AM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
GT13568 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 121
Loc: California
Oh lord, this is beautiful. Thanks. It makes me happier than it hurts (and it hurts a lot) to know that love does happen in families. Some families.

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#427875 - 03/12/13 09:10 PM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 545
Wow I haven't cried like this in a long time.
_________________________
The ratio of good to bad people in this world will always be tipped in favor of the latter. Always. But that ratio in your own social circle, you can control. And there, and only there, can the balance be favorably tipped, so that those who love you far outnumber those who don't.

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#428183 - 03/15/13 07:16 PM Re: Fathers and Sons [Re: Lancer]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 09:22 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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