May things become easier, better each day. I have seen since coming here that alcohol seems to play a large part for a goodly many as they deal with the reality of what has happened to them. I am no different myself. I hate that I do, but sometimes (often) the numbness is better than the pain. But it will get better. It will. You hang tough, keep reaching out. It will get better. I've read past posts from several years ago from these guys, and then postings done recently. It is obvious it gets better. And I have been alone since I was 46. So really, you are not alone. Nor am I. There are a multitude of guys here just like us.
ps... Publius... I find your "Jefferson" letter is beautiful.
For now we see through a glass, darkly.