I have a general therapist at my university who I see on occasion, but have been on a awaiting list since November to see a pyschiatrist to be assessed for any established diagnosis (i.e. for sure PTSD, Depression, Anxiety etc). I also really want to see therapists with advice on CSA. I have a mens' support hotline as well as a book "Victims No Longer"... I need to run out of my trans/flashbacks, and take hold of the resources at my disposal. I am just so afraid of being judged, or I keep feeling like I will get in some kind of trouble... it is so irrational, but can seem so real.
Later on today, I met with a friend and he had a tea with me for a few hours and we talked and hugged. It helped tremendously.
HUGS once more to you both: Australia and South-East Europe.
Finding meaning and Brotherhood