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#425632 - 02/17/13 10:57 PM Hi
TornSoul Offline

Registered: 02/15/13
Posts: 4
Loc: Michigan

Hi my name is Corey. I don't think I know how start. this is really hard for me. But I refuse to hide any longer. I can no longer can keep my silence. I'm so thankful that this site is here. For 20 years I've keep this inside of me buried deep down. I hide from my self, I hide from the boy that I once was.
That part of me has been locked away in the darkness of my mind and I need to let myself free I need to shine the light on the things that have been dark for so long.
What a long strange trip this has been

#425634 - 02/17/13 11:16 PM Re: Hi [Re: TornSoul]
SamV Offline

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5954
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Thoughts are the beginnings of feelings TornSoul, welcome to MaleSurvivor. When a survivor begins to explore those areas of his mind frozen and afflicted by the abuse, he will experience a relief through a struggle that can take him all the way back to the visceral reality of the abuse, through acting out, into the present healing course and onto a victory of self confident affirmation.

Post, share, express your feelings and thoughts, reply and consider the life experiences of your fellow survivors and their supporters. Keep on this path, you are on the right path, in the right place.

MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

#425703 - 02/18/13 02:07 PM Re: Hi [Re: TornSoul]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: TornSoul
....need to let myself free I need to shine the light on the things that have been dark for so long.


You are so right. I'm sorry it took 20 years for you to get here, but thats been the case for many of us. 42 years in my case. Someone here told me that abuse happens in secret, but healing happens out loud. Now that you've found your voice, use it as much as you feel comfortable. It will get easier with time, and this is a safe place to get it all out.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#425722 - 02/18/13 04:26 PM Re: Hi [Re: TornSoul]
DavoSwim Offline

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 379
Loc: Iowa, USA

I'm just a guy who found this site as well. My story is almost identical to yours. I am a victim of abuse who kept it hidden for many, many years. I am go lucky and grateful to have found this site. You will find many guys here who can relate. I shudder to think what may have happened had I not found this group. I wish you well as you recover


#425729 - 02/18/13 05:26 PM Re: Hi [Re: DavoSwim]
Zug Offline

Registered: 02/18/13
Posts: 56
Loc: Progress
I understand Corey, I'm right there with you. I can't take what I'm going through, feeling, thinking about. This feels like it will literally take me apart. I'm glad we're both here.
"what matters most is how well you walk through the fire"
-Charles Bukowski

#425781 - 02/19/13 01:23 AM Re: Hi [Re: TornSoul]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1625
Hi Corey,

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.

If you feel therapy is an option, there are resources available. For help in finding a therapist please read the Consumers Guide to Therapist Shopping. Psychology Today has listings of therapists for all states and counties. You can choose the type of therapist you are seeking as well as the area(s) to which you are willng to travel. Also check your county rape crisis center. They offer services to males and females, at no cost to county residents. Some offer support groups in addition to individual therapy.

There are several books you might find useful.

Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter

Victims No Longer by Mike Lew

I am certain others will share titles they have found useful. You can find these titles, and others here at the bookstore.

Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.

At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.

We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on *Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone.

*The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is temporarily suspended.

Again, welcome to MS.

Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

#425866 - 02/19/13 05:31 PM Re: Hi [Re: TornSoul]
TornSoul Offline

Registered: 02/15/13
Posts: 4
Loc: Michigan
Thank you so much for your support and open arms. That means a great deal to me how welcoming everyone is. I'm having trouble writing my story down every time I start to do so I shut down and walk away.

Thanks for the book info I will definitely check them out.

Once again thank you for the warm welcome.
What a long strange trip this has been


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