Pero,

This can be pretty complex. For some reason, I don't really mind if others see me in an "exposed" state. I spent many years swimming and diving---and a swimmer's uniform isn't modest. I'm not gonna be embarrassed by a Speedo.

The one season I tried wrestling bothered me more because the weigh-ins before the meets were a little awkward. You had to step on the scales wearing just your tighty-whities. This was in front of my coach, the other teams' coaches and a meet official. I felt like they were inspecting livestock. Not fun. Maybe they do it differently now...

I'm more bothered by being in close proximity---like you say---in a locker room situation with a lot of others. I'm claustrophobic...so that adds to the effect. I just want to get in and out. I'm operating on the premise that no one is looking at me...and if they are...well, that's another thread.

Will

Hey brother, well I was wondering could you bring us some other perspective in more details, lol.
And I would like to hear how are you deal with it concerning you are CSA?

Thanks Luke, we all have some limits and issues that are not easy to deal with, but step by step with some time definitely gives result. It worth trying!

Hi Will,
thanks for adding your input.
I can imagine scene with weigh-ins in front of people in underwear

Yes I get you completely with wanting to get in and out as soon as possible. I never felt watched near looker room, but if I did I'd be more than uncomfortable. Being once at medical check where I felt too exposed and watched by assistant.
Let's say that he payed attention more than I was comfortable while I was laying half naked on bed, I would add that my blood pressure and heart beats were not quite normal during that check, lol.

Pero

hey pero
I have to tell you I hadn't read this post till now cause even the title is kinda triggering to me for some reason. I had a very similar experience last year about this time. I had taken a group of boys to a public pool to swim. I have been in locker rooms many times I used to swim as a boy too. but in this small room that was sooooo packed full and one of the boys had trouble with his suit and asked me to help him. I wasn't real comfortable but I helped get the knot out and they were all off to swim. I was alone then and began to change into a suit when I had a complete panic attack! I just had to get the hell out of there and I was crying and my head was going nuts! I was so glad I had some others there to help me watch the boys cause I lost it. I haven't been back to the gym or pool since then it was really awkward trying to make an excuse for not going in swimming except for the one boy who is csa and knows about mine too. sorry for the long story but had to let ya know that you are not alone

Hey Newground,
I'm sorry if title was triggering for you as well as overall story. It seems like you have had something like panic attack back than
I hope you'll find way to go there again if you like to swim or go to gym.
Maybe to go to some other place with bigger locker room and where you could felt more relaxed for start? It would be good if you could have some friends with you?

We need you in good shape here !

Just to add something here I went again with my friends to same sport center and same locker room; this time it was empty and without any triggering situations and I've had great time with my friends.

I've also just sent link of MS to girl friend who told me two weeks ago about disclosure of her friend survivor so I hope he will have courage to come here and search for additional support.

Pero

Hey. I'm really glad to read that you went back and it all went so well. That's really good news. It's hard to go back and try something again when you have a bad experience but I think doing stuff with friends is really important for your mental health. I went out last night - spent weeks dreading the whole thing, but it was really awesome in the end. I think a lot of the time what I imagine could happen is completely different to what happens in reality.