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#425303 - 02/14/13 08:25 PM Adverse responses of CSA/ASA *possible triggers*
xxanxus Offline


Registered: 02/09/13
Posts: 23
Loc: Global
As a survivor of both. I come to notice my reaction to them is not necessarily the normal response to the abuse I have suffered. I'm a sex addict, the addiction has literally taken over my life. that's why i think I am conflicted because the very thing I crave has brought me so much hurt. I also have dissociative identity disorder; that combination is the worst as I been so close to becoming the very thing I despise. I really feel ashamed when I read about survivors who have problems with sexual intercourse in their relationships because of the abuse they have suffered.

I was wondering how the abuse has affected your life, and how you have come to terms with that?

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#425330 - 02/15/13 04:38 AM Re: Adverse responses of CSA/ASA *possible triggers* [Re: xxanxus]
Ivo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 267
Loc: Germany
Well there is no „normal“ response to abuse and actually many survivors would fit well into sex addiction category including myself.

I am keeping those urges under control somehow but it is not that I can say everything is all right and that I can turn page and say I am new person – in short actually it becomes part of you and you have to accept it, simple as that.

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#425338 - 02/15/13 06:48 AM Re: Adverse responses of CSA/ASA *possible triggers* [Re: xxanxus]
A270465 Offline


Registered: 01/04/13
Posts: 49
Loc: SE Mich
Sex addict here... It is POSSIBLE for it to not be a bad thing, alhtough difficult.
I personally found a partner (wife) that is down for continued exploration and all out all nighters and what not, so like I say it is possible, but it took me all my life to find comfort-ness like that, and I 'claimed' her as 'mine' partly bc of that.
Addicted to sex and loving it.
!
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Seeking help
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#425339 - 02/15/13 06:49 AM Re: Adverse responses of CSA/ASA *possible triggers* [Re: xxanxus]
A270465 Offline


Registered: 01/04/13
Posts: 49
Loc: SE Mich
PS
U gotta keep the abuse out of it in your own head
_________________________
BrokenLeg@2 EarCutoff@5 RanOver@7 UnanethesizedSurgeries@8 rapedfrom10to11 Dysfunction&Druguse@12 Crime@13 Dotdotdot Violence Jail@18Escaped Prison@19GladiatorSchool Max@20 Supermax@21 HellEnsues THROWNbacktothestreets@26 MarriedWKids@28 HeardofCptsd@33
Seeking help
And the days tick by all the same

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#425345 - 02/15/13 08:04 AM Re: Adverse responses of CSA/ASA *possible triggers* [Re: xxanxus]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1478
Loc: New England
Hey xxanux,

Many of us resorted to various addictions to cope with what was done to us. Sex, alcohol, drugs, work, porn have been ways of numbing the pain and escaping the memories. Addictions rarely can be overcome on your own. A good therapist, and a support group (in my case AA) can make all the difference.

Originally Posted By: A270465
...I personally found a partner (wife) that is down for continued exploration and all out all nighters...
And BTW A270465, does your wife have any sisters? LOL

Jude
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#425352 - 02/15/13 09:28 AM Re: Adverse responses of CSA/ASA *possible triggers* [Re: xxanxus]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
I prefer the term "very high libido" and prefer to think it's how I always would have been anyway. Really really really loving and craving sex and going for multi-round all-nighters (or all-dayers) doesn't have to be a symptom of damage; it's only bad if you can't do anything else right when you're not having sex. I am not minimizing anyone's problems if there are actual adverse effects, I am just saying that society tends to pathologize behaviors that are really well within normal boundaries.

Anyway. Hyper-exaggerated startle response here. That IS abnormal and I DO hate it. No matter how calm or safe i feel it can be dashed in an instant, just a loud noise or quick movement at my peripheral vision - let alone an unexpected touch. Jumping midair recoil like fucking Shaggy and Scooby.
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