Many of us resorted to various addictions to cope with what was done to us. Sex, alcohol, drugs, work, porn have been ways of numbing the pain and escaping the memories. Addictions rarely can be overcome on your own. A good therapist, and a support group (in my case AA) can make all the difference.
...I personally found a partner (wife) that is down for continued exploration and all out all nighters...
And BTW A270465, does your wife have any sisters? LOL
"Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more"Kansas