Many of us resorted to various addictions to cope with what was done to us. Sex, alcohol, drugs, work, porn have been ways of numbing the pain and escaping the memories. Addictions rarely can be overcome on your own. A good therapist, and a support group (in my case AA) can make all the difference.
...I personally found a partner (wife) that is down for continued exploration and all out all nighters...
And BTW A270465, does your wife have any sisters? LOL
"When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown, the dream is gone
And I have become comfortably numb."Pink Floyd