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#425134 - 02/13/13 02:24 AM Do familial betrayals go away with recovery
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1

Edited by Still (02/13/13 04:47 AM)

#425145 - 02/13/13 05:25 AM Re: Do familial betrayals go away with recovery [Re: Still]
cosmos Offline

Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 191
Loc: Puget Sound
If you have no family left, how can you have betrayal?


Why the edit, i did like the mash/whiskey bit
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine

#425403 - 02/15/13 05:29 PM Re: Do familial betrayals go away with recovery [Re: Still]
DannyT Offline

Registered: 09/14/03
Posts: 408
Yes. I've started to feel that my dad (who was my abuser) was just a very sad and messed up human being. I was so angry with him for so many years. Now I wish I could just say, you know what dad? It's too bad you totally messed up our relationship. It's really too bad that I wasn't able to deal with the abuse for such a long time. But I wish you hadn't died in misery and guilt. I wish you could have had a life without the abuse as much as i wish I could have had the same.

#425410 - 02/15/13 06:35 PM Re: Do familial betrayals go away with recovery [Re: Still]
Lancer Offline

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
For me, depends on the family member, his/her part in it and whether any attempt was made by him/her to set things right...even years and years after the fact.

Adopted father (who I still lovingly consider "Dad") had no control over my custody in that era, eventually found recovery and, imo, did more than his best to make up for his "shortcomings".

Adopted mother (who I call the "mommybitch") never did, married a guy who participated in the verbal and emotional abuse, the two of them essentially delivering me to my perp, my high school guidance counselor. And she continues in denial, despite my having confronted her years ago.

I've come to understand her dynamic completely (the psychiatricl term is narcissist or NPD). But I hold her responsible no more or less than I'd hold any adult responsible for his/her actions...and, no, I most certainly do NOT forgive her.


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