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#425026 - 02/12/13 03:06 AM Who needs a label?
xxanxus Offline


Registered: 02/09/13
Posts: 23
Loc: Global
For sometime I struggled with the idea that I was attracted to men, as I thought it was because my CSA. I thought it was my abuser's fault that I was attracted to men. Then did some research into CSA and sexuality which put a whole new spin on things. I started to think that my abuser chose me because he could tell that I was attracted to the same sex; as the abuse started at the age of 7. It was quite a mind fuck.

I decided to try dating different genders; men, women, trans...etc. I discovered that I wasn't really attracted to any gender, I was more attracted to personality. Or rather someone who didn't want to fix a broken man, but rather accepted me, without asking any further questions about why I am, I the way I am. When it comes to sex itself, as an addict, I really not picky about gender the person is. Up until this day I still don't know what my sexuality is and I'm not in a rush to find out.

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#425068 - 02/12/13 03:15 PM Re: Who needs a label? [Re: xxanxus]
SmartShadow Offline


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 135
Loc: Washington State
Welcom aboard. And I am realy sorry you went through that at age 7 and on. Confusion is part of the pain it seems. I don't think labels are of much use in knowing who we are, but help in describing concepts for understanding. Locking into a label is I think for many of us here, is unessary and unwise. I like the label survivor though.

Originally Posted By: xxanxus
Or rather someone who didn't want to fix a broken man, but rather accepted me, without asking any further questions about why I am, I the way I am. When it comes to sex itself, as an addict, I really not picky about gender the person is. Up until this day I still don't know what my sexuality is and I'm not in a rush to find out.


I think you are ahead of the curve on this. We are our own first. Broken parts and all. What we need most from others is love and acceptance. Not fixing. I am a recovered sex addict myself. Finding the help to understand and manage my addiction. Learning how to stop using the addiction to exscape the ongoing stress and pain, has helped me to find out who I am. This is work I did. I own this choice to find help and get healthy.

Keep posting when you can, I know it's difficult at times to open up to others about our stuff. I have had all kinds of thoughs. What will others think, will I be rejected. But what you will find is that we are all working to get support and understanding and to learn from others. In some ways for me I am teaching my self something each time I post.

Take care



Edited by SmartShadow (02/12/13 04:14 PM)

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