You've taken a big step toward recovery just by posting what you have here. Good job. Now run with it. Keep being open about it all. Get a trauma therapist and do recovery work. And keep reading and posting when you feel comfortable doing so. We're glad you found us.
"And God only knows
God makes his plan
The information's unavailable to the mortal man
We're workin' our jobs
Collect our pay
Believe were gliding down the highway
When if fact we're slip slidin' away"Paul Simon