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#424928 - 02/11/13 08:11 AM Telling the doctor
mrgoggs Offline


Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 2
Loc: Scotland
As a 9yr old I was assaulted by two older boys.
The only way I was able to deal with the situation was to put the incident in a room in my head and lock the door.
31yrs later the locks of that door are opening & its affecting my day to day life.
For the first time ever I told someone (my wife) what happened & she suggested I speak to my GP to be referred for counselling.
I'm meeting him today, however, I dont know what to say to him as I'm not sure I can re-tell my tale.
Any advice?

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#424930 - 02/11/13 08:27 AM Re: Telling the doctor [Re: mrgoggs]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3420
Loc: somewhere in Africa
this is a good start, mrgoggs!

if you need to, print this out and take it with you and read it out loud. my T had me write a lot when we first started. it helped me organize my thoughts and start to process things before we even met. even if you say no more than this, you have communicated the essence -
1. what happened to you.
2. how you dealt with it.
3. what is going on now.
4. why you are seeing him.

he can ask questions for more details if needed. or you can fill in more between the main points. chances are, once you get started, it will be difficult to stop. it is such a relief to finally let it out.

you can do it. you can practice on us if you need to. we get it. most of us have been where you are now. come back and let us know how it goes, please.

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#424932 - 02/11/13 08:51 AM Re: Telling the doctor [Re: mrgoggs]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6453
Loc: Right Behind You!
ANYONE....any doctor will fully understand if you have to write it out on paper.

I found myself falling apart badly when I told my GP. Lots of folks have used the "hand him a sheet o paper" method.
_________________________
Keep the others in your life happy - Comply Comply Comply

The Aftermath Video

My Absolute Hero!

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#424933 - 02/11/13 08:57 AM Re: Telling the doctor [Re: mrgoggs]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6453
Loc: Right Behind You!
Originally Posted By: mrgoggs
As a 9yr old I was assaulted by two older boys.
The only way I was able to deal with the situation was to put the incident in a room in my head and lock the door.
31yrs later the locks of that door are opening & its affecting my day to day life.
For the first time ever I told someone (my wife) what happened & she suggested I speak to my GP to be referred for counselling.
I'm meeting him today, however, I dont know what to say to him as I'm not sure I can re-tell my tale.
Any advice?


BTW: I was abused by older boys too. I know it poses its own collection of reasons to not disclose...but know this...nearly half of all cases are perpetrated by other kids. Do let us know how the doc visit goes.
_________________________
Keep the others in your life happy - Comply Comply Comply

The Aftermath Video

My Absolute Hero!

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#424935 - 02/11/13 09:09 AM Re: Telling the doctor [Re: Still]
pittsburgh Offline


Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 89
Loc: west Chester, Pa
Do not be afaid of the jouney, there is a better place. It took almost three years for me to tell my"T" everything. It is hard but worth the trip. Find a good "T" who has worked with males. Also know that you are not alone.
_________________________
it is and has been quite a trip thru life, as last I feel that I am in a better place, it takes work and in my case a wife the was and is forgiveing and helpful. At last a relationship has gone right, messed up three.

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#424936 - 02/11/13 09:09 AM Re: Telling the doctor [Re: mrgoggs]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3610
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi mrgoggs,
welcome to Male Survivor!
Be aware that you are not alone , I'm sad to know about your abuse but healing is possible even many years later every one of us is sort of evidence for that. I found great support here!

I would suggest you not to give some details in that talk with which you are not comfortable or that could be emotionally too exhausting for you. Saying that you were abused and that you have later problems should be more than enough.
When I visited my therapist first time I didn't know what to expect and I was scared and worrying. When I meet her I told her in short all my story. Later she told me that was not necessary, trust and supportive relationship between therapist and client is something that is gradually building so there is no need to force anything. For start just couple of facts should be more than enough. Same goes for your talk with GP.
So please don't push yourself!

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#424961 - 02/11/13 01:18 PM Re: Telling the doctor [Re: mrgoggs]
mrgoggs Offline


Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 2
Loc: Scotland
Did it. Was too hard to explain so handed him the note I had written.
Glad I did it. Small steps

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#424964 - 02/11/13 02:30 PM Re: Telling the doctor [Re: mrgoggs]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6453
Loc: Right Behind You!
Sehr gut!

I hope his reaction was acceptable to you.

A tough day for you.
_________________________
Keep the others in your life happy - Comply Comply Comply

The Aftermath Video

My Absolute Hero!

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#424975 - 02/11/13 03:46 PM Re: Telling the doctor [Re: mrgoggs]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1536
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: mrgoggs
31yrs later the locks of that door are opening & its affecting my day to day life.
....Any advice?


Welcome mrgroggs!

It took me 42 years to begin coming to terms with what happened to me at 13. It took me 10 years of therapy, before I could actually say the words. The good news it that I finally did it and am making progress. You will too if you do the work fearlessly and don't give up.

Be aware that not every therapist is trained for dealing with CSA trauma. Read the thread here on how to pick a therapist for help: A Consumer's Guide To Therapists. If your current counselor isn't working out, don't be afraid to change. This is about YOU!
Good luck and keep asking for help. You will always get it here.

Jude
_________________________
Well, I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down.
Tom Petty

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