Next Tuesday I have to go the VA Hospital and get reviewed by a couple people at the PTSD Clinic, about my doctors diagnosis that my rape is considered PTSD, since it happened while I was on active duty. Damn, I just don't know what to think. My doctor also perscribed Zoloft for my anxiety over this, I've been dealing with this for over 22+ years, alone and by myself. I've never talked to anyone about what happened, for fear of retribution and harm to my family if I ever talked. The Zoloft makes me feel more numb when I think about things. I'm not sure I like this medication. It makes me feel detached from my emotions, It make me think that I'm not in touch with my feelings as I was before the medication, but at least I can sleep through the night and not have dreams and night terrors. I haven't been able to cry since taking Zoloft, when think about my family. This I don't like at all. I love and care for my family, and not being able to express my emotions the way I did before the Zoloft is an anxiety within itself.

Is this feeling normal? or am I going nuts?????

I have had several friends who were on that medication, and they expressed the same reactions that you have just described. Although some of those things may be hard to deal with at this time, perhaps taking it now, and having your doctor ween you off of it down the line when it may no longer be needed, is the best route.

Anyway, I hope that you are doing well, and you are not going nuts...apparently those are normal responses to the medication.

I was also raped while on active duty, my story is on this forum.

The stresses of rape in the military are huge, I fully understand what you have and are still going thru. As for the medication I was on an antidepressant for well over a year, I felt exactly the way you were feeling. I too did not like the feeling however, without the ups and downs, it gave me time to really deal with the issues at hand. It gave me space to deal with my deepest fears, my anxiety and gave me time to heal without the emotions getting in the way.

The feeling is normal. As for the PTSD the diagnosis is properly correct.

Hang in there, I was raped 30 years ago and I only faced my demons about 10 years ago.

If you wish to talk privately please send me a PM

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Hey man,

Hopefully if you're living in Florida you will be going to Bay Pines VA over near Tampa. They are considered the best resource for sexual trauma in the VHA. If not, they do offer a residential program to help people. Just things to consider in the long-term.

I was raped on active duty. When I was on medicines, the reactions you described were normal for me. As I went through therapy, I no longer needed most of the medicines because I was able to use other tools to face what was happening and control the PTSD symptoms. Your doctor's diagnosis is spot-on.

Brian

Dear LN3 - I am so sorry that you had to join this group and this subgroup. I too experience being raped. I have been on so many different medications, including zoloft, that I've lost track. I was raped a little over 30 years ago. became a 4.0 sailor and even made sailor of the quarter. All the time, I never told anyone for fear of screwing up my career. The Navy was one of the best things in my life. But in the end, not dealing with the event, eventually manifested into PNES Seizures. As a former Mental Health/Mental Retardation Specialist, I couldn't imagine this ever happening to me. But it did and I am getting help. I do have a great therapist at the Erie VA and a wonderful wife. Medications and desired and undesired affect are normal. I'd like to add my support for those who have shared so far that it is just 1 tool and the array of arsenal of tools you'll be acquiring. It will get better and you will find what works and doesn't work. But you have to share with your therapist. I will keep you in my prayers that your journey will help you to get and feel better. If you are offended by my prayers, I do apologize, as it is the most highest and sincere thought that I can offer to someone.