ghrider89, welcome - what a loving wife you are Joining Forces, a brand new book for male CSAs but i've found it's particularly great for family and spouses. it might also reveal a little of what the road ahead could look like; it will not be an easy or quick road once the secrets out. my journey as a female CSA has finally come full circle after 10+ years and i even work in the human service profession - the journey for males has many more deminsions to it. best of luck to you and him and your new family.

I wonder if he is afraid to say anything because of his fear of being abandoned.

He may not open up about if for a long time but that doesn't mean you can't plant a seed of acceptance and water it from time to time. I think bringing things up in the context of you daughter is okay. After all you he needs to be able to bond with her and care for her otherwise she will feel rejected by him as she grows up. Kids need their dads as much as their moms. Maybe just let him know that if anything happened to him its okay to talk about it. I had to tell my H over and over that there was nothing he could say that could make me not love him anymore. Victims no Longer is a great book and reminded me that survivors don't seek help until they feel safe. Educating yourself is. A good first step and from there just follow you heart and be patient.