I divulged a very private thing of the little boy 'Still.' Today, I told the T that the boy wrote and then hid letters "to whom it may concern." The letters told the world who he was, what he loved, what scared him and who would likely take his life - Fears of certain death from the bleeding, beating and pain. He told how much he did not want to be dead, but "in case I am, please read this and know me."
They were not suicide notes by any means. They were a shout out that he was here - "I was here...this is who I was. These were my favorite stuffed animals. These were my sisters. Let me tell you about my adventures in my woods, my fears and tears. Let me tell you of a life you would never otherwise know."
Little Boy Still periodically wrote new ones and added them to the hidden collection. He remembers apologizing for being dead, being bad, disappointing his parents and hoped they would never hear what he would do with those older boys.
He thanked his dog Lucy, and told others how to care for her now that he's gone.
He told of regret for disappointing those who needed him to be a real boy - into sports - to be physically strong, good in school, and not a criminal.
He was here - he proclaimed. He was a soul and had real feelings. Mostly, he told of wanting to just be normal, but explained to those important to him why he was not.
Did anyone else do this?
Those assholes mustah stolen the wrong exam! [Animal House 1978]