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#424164 - 02/03/13 02:39 PM Just been triggered in the strangest way...
LazyPirate Offline


Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ontario
Was just reading a survivor story here on this site & now I'm feeling intense hatred & anger. Along with that is a massive urge to go visit the place it all happened! (was a thread on here about that subject not too long ago)... I don't even think that the building still exists, but I know exactly where it was & I want to go. Luckily there is a snow storm going on right now, that will keep me home today.
_________________________
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

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#424243 - 02/04/13 11:38 AM Re: Just been triggered in the strangest way... [Re: LazyPirate]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1046

It's good to be in touch with your feelings and be able to identify them. Good post, Pirate.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#424302 - 02/04/13 08:04 PM Re: Just been triggered in the strangest way... [Re: LazyPirate]
gottymeguy Offline


Registered: 09/24/10
Posts: 35
I kind of know what you mean...sometimes I want to return there as well, Sesame Place...but I don't see the reason for it. Besides, it would be weird for an adult man to being there. I guess it didn't send off any alarms back then. Too bad.

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#424308 - 02/04/13 08:57 PM Re: Just been triggered in the strangest way... [Re: LazyPirate]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Another thot, too, LP. Anything come up with the T?

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#424356 - 02/05/13 07:42 AM Re: Just been triggered in the strangest way... [Re: Lancer]
LazyPirate Offline


Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ontario
Originally Posted By: Lancer
Another thot, too, LP. Anything come up with the T?


Unfortunately, the new T had car trouble yesterday & had to re-schedule. Looks like Friday afternoon now maybe. What a bummer!
_________________________
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

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#424374 - 02/05/13 10:37 AM Re: Just been triggered in the strangest way... [Re: LazyPirate]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
I remember myself when I got intensively triggered or during feelings of depression i'd try to slam my head with the abuse. i can't visit the place, but I did use youtube to look up some of the most triggering music that I heard every morning before going off to school where stuff happened and which frequently played or was sung during the abuse, I also used to subject myself to the smell of cigarette smoke and cheap perfume.

for me, this was always about unishment, a sort of mental and emotional self harm quite as real as if I'd slashed myself with a knife. On the other hand, Since depression usually caused me to close off and feel gnumb, indeed when i am triggered my overriding reaction is to freeze and retreat, attempting to trigger myself was always sort of a way of recalling the actual pain of the abuse, allowing myself to feel something that I wouldn't normally.

so, sometimes it was a helpfull thing, often it wasn't, it just depended upon my state and evaluation at the time. usually whether it was was shown how I reacted, since after listening to that music or smelling cigarettes I'd either go and listen to some more uplifting music, cry and feel myself clensed, or just feel even more gnum than before.

I'm not sure which way this is for you pirate if indeed it is similar at all, I'm just sharing.

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#424386 - 02/05/13 11:57 AM Re: Just been triggered in the strangest way... [Re: LazyPirate]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 288
Loc: MO
Dear Pirate

I can not imagine anything triggering me to return to ny of the sites of my abuse. I have a dozen experiences (such as simply walking into a basement) which will trigger the memories. Or in somecases the startle reaction or the gut wrenching fear reaction.

I don't k if the triggeres will ever pass, but my reactions to them are no longer overwhelming. For me at least the anger is less violent.

May God be with you as you continue the journey.

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#424636 - 02/07/13 06:20 PM Re: Just been triggered in the strangest way... [Re: LazyPirate]
LazyPirate Offline


Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ontario
Thank you guys.
_________________________
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

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