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#426916 - 03/02/13 08:16 AM Re: I was raped while on active duty.***TRIGGER** [Re: JoziSA]
JoziSA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/05/12
Posts: 144
Loc: Johannesburg, South Africa
Keith

I got my inspiration from all the men on this forum and the survivors I met in the UK during a weekend of healing and in USA at the MS international conference. I think it is knowing "we are not alone" and that there are millions out there that have not yet found that out.
_________________________
Rees (JoziSA)
My Story and Blog www.kilimalesurvivor.wordpress.com

South African MALE SURVIVORS of Sexual Abuse
www.samsosa.org
If your mind can perceive it and your heart can believe it, YOU can achieve it.

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#435727 - 05/25/13 03:01 AM Re: I was raped while on active duty.***TRIGGER** [Re: JoziSA]
JoziSA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/05/12
Posts: 144
Loc: Johannesburg, South Africa
According to yesterday's NBC report I am not alone - fellow men in the USA are experiencing the same abuse I had in the apartheid regime in South Africa.

By Bill Briggs, NBC News contributor

Amid the legislation and indignation sparked by the military's sexual abuse crisis, male rape survivors are stepping forward to remind officials that men are targeted more often than women inside a tough-guy culture that, they say, routinely deems male victims as “liars and trouble makers.”

The Pentagon estimates that last year 13,900 of the 1.2 million men on active duty endured sexual assault while 12,100 of the 203,000 women in uniform experienced the same crime — or 38 men per day versus 33 women per day. Yet the Defense Department also acknowledges “male survivors report at much lower rates than female survivors.”

“As a culture, we’ve somewhat moved past the idea that a female wanted this trauma to occur, but we haven’t moved past that for male survivors,” said Brian Lewis, a rape survivor who served in the Navy. “In a lot of areas of the military, men are still viewed as having wanted it or of being homosexual. That’s not correct at all. It’s a crime of power and control. But also, you’re instantly viewed as a liar and a troublemaker (when a man reports a sex crime), and there’s the notion that you have abandoned your shipmates, that you took a crap all over your shipmates, that you misconstrued their horseplay,” he added.

Lewis, who was raped by a male superior officer aboard a Navy ship in 2000, spoke Thursday at a press conference introducing a bill that seeks to strip serious sex assaults from the military’s chain of command. At that event, he said: “Too often male survivors are ignored and marginalized.”
“The biggest reasons men don’t come forward (with sex assault reports) are the fear of retaliation (from fellow troops), the fear of being viewed in a weaker light, and the fact there are very few, if any, services for male survivors,” Lewis told NBC News.
Men in the spotlight

All sexual assault response coordinators within the military are instructed to provide “gender-responsive, culturally competent and recovery-oriented” resources, said Cynthia O. Smith, a Pentagon spokeswoman.

“Based on that guidance, each of the services customizes its training and implementation specific to their service,” Smith said. DOD offers a 24/7 “safe helpline” providing anonymous victim support, and its staffers “have been trained to assist male victims.”
Still, the Defense Department acknowledges it must do more to help male victims.
“A focus of our prevention efforts over the next several months is specifically geared towards male survivors and will include (learning) why male survivors report at much lower rates than female survivors, and determining the unique support and assistance male survivors need,” Smith said.

The Pentagon “has reached out to organizations supporting male survivors for assistance and information to help inform our way ahead,” she added.
“I applaud that stand on behalf of male survivors,” Lewis said. “However, I would be interested in hearing what organizations they are partnering with considering there are none especially geared for male survivors of military sexual trauma.”

Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, D-N.Y., is joined by a group of colleagues on Capitol Hill while introducing sexual assault legislation that would reform the military justice system.
'Critical' part of process.

At Protect Our Defenders, a leading advocacy group for male and female service members who've survived sexual assaults, president Nancy Parrish said she would welcome the chance to offer guidance to the Pentagon as it develops better programs to support male sex assault victims.

“As of yet, we have not been asked to participate in such an endeavor,” Parrish said. “For the success of the military efforts to end the ongoing epidemic of male and female military sexual assaults, it is critical that survivors are part of the process."
An annual DOD report on sexual abuse, released May 7, described separate attacks on two male soldiers who were shoved down by fellow troops then sodomized with a plastic bottle or broom handle.

Next month, a documentary called “Justice Denied” — which explores sexual assaults against men in the military — premiers at the Albuquerque Film and Media Experience.
Assaults on men have been “carefully hidden from the public and covered up,” not only by the victims themselves but also by superiors within the chain of command, contends the film’s producer and co-director Geri Lynn Weinstein-Matthews. “It’s time for men to have their voices heard. It’s time for them to stand up against these vicious attacks and against the deception of some of their commanding officers.”

U.S. Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel addresses the growing concern over the number of sexual assaults occurring within the U.S. military.
_________________________
Rees (JoziSA)
My Story and Blog www.kilimalesurvivor.wordpress.com

South African MALE SURVIVORS of Sexual Abuse
www.samsosa.org
If your mind can perceive it and your heart can believe it, YOU can achieve it.

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#439076 - 06/24/13 10:14 AM Re: I was raped while on active duty.***TRIGGER** [Re: JoziSA]
CafeMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 150
Loc: Chicago
Thank you, Rees.

Thank you for your story, for your determination, for your success to heal within yourself, for your love of your family and for so much more.

My situation is different from yours, but there are similar feelings associated with your story. I've moved forward in some things. I an moving forward in other areas. I have more work to do on certain issues. My life will always be a work in progress when thinking about my past. Again, thank you.

-Nick

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#440859 - 07/14/13 11:44 AM Re: I was raped while on active duty.***TRIGGER** [Re: CafeMan]
JoziSA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/05/12
Posts: 144
Loc: Johannesburg, South Africa
Nick

I have not been here for a while. I think you have just summed up my life.

Originally Posted By: CafeMan

I've moved forward in some things. I an moving forward in other areas. I have more work to do on certain issues. My life will always be a work in progress


We all have to make sure we don't stop working on our lives, so we can progress a little each day, month and year.

There is a saying in Africa " the only way to eat an elephant is bite by bite".
_________________________
Rees (JoziSA)
My Story and Blog www.kilimalesurvivor.wordpress.com

South African MALE SURVIVORS of Sexual Abuse
www.samsosa.org
If your mind can perceive it and your heart can believe it, YOU can achieve it.

Top
#440892 - 07/14/13 07:20 PM Re: I was raped while on active duty.***TRIGGER** [Re: JoziSA]
1.healing Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 261
Loc: NW Ohio

Rees,

Yours is a remarkable life story and one with a good ending, not something often found amongst survivors. That you have been able to advocate for others is incredibly generous and very powerful.

It's good for us to see your level of success although for many of us, as you know, will never achieve anything close to your accomplishments. Still, as you've said "We all have to make sure we don't stop working on our lives, so we can progress a little each day, month and year.". Progress certainly does come that way, a little at a time, and we, of course, are the ones who need to actively make it happen for ourselves.

Moving ahead and success for some of us may actually be a very simple thing, it might even seem insignificant, but it's not. Progress, no matter it's dimension, is still progress and moving forward even a little bit is better than staying stuck. Hopefully support is close at hand, but it's not always there for everyone. Yet, that too can be found if we seek it out and open our minds and hearts to it. This place, MS, is one of those resources.

Rees, your growth and success have not only happened because you worked diligently towards a goal of healing, but because you had others in mind as part of your healing. I think that's an important thing for us to be aware of, we have a responsibility towards each other here. We have an obligation to care for ourselves and each other in ways that moves everyone forward. We're participating in something bigger than ourselves here and we need to try to be or to become better than we were.

Thank you for your inspiring story and for your concern and advocacy of all of us who are male survivors. Very best wishes in all you do!

Gary / 1.healing
_________________________
"It's never too late to be what you might have been."

George Elliot

"You cannot find peace by avoiding life."

Virginia Woolf

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#441398 - 07/19/13 05:58 PM Re: I was raped while on active duty.***TRIGGER** [Re: JoziSA]
Matt195 Offline


Registered: 07/18/13
Posts: 6
Loc: Arizona
Jozi,

Thank you for being open and honest with your experience. As you know, nobody should have to experience what you experienced. It does not matter what your political bent is you are still human and should have been and should be treated with respect.

I have never been in the military but was molested by a military officer, my grandfather.

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#453624 - 11/14/13 12:31 PM Re: I was raped while on active duty.***TRIGGER** [Re: JoziSA]
HaiRazor Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/15/13
Posts: 9
Loc: NM USA
Thanks for sharing your experiences. Amazing video from a local station with Michael and his wife. http://youtu.be/_TJ0LFHuLm0

Any NM residents seeking help, please PM me.
_________________________
Keep healing. It's worth the journey!

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