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#423884 - 01/31/13 03:18 PM affirmations!
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
For some time I've been thinking on making topic about trying to be more affirmative, less negative and more constructive.
When I came here for the first time I spotted one article for those who are starting healing journey, basically it said that we need to try having daily affirmations in way to change some usual negative thoughts into something positive.
That article is here:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/docs/FirstStepstoGetHelp.doc
It says in short:
Give yourself a big applause daily
Find somebody to talk to who's safe
Attend support groups
Know you're not alone.
Be willing to have feelings in order to heal.
Ask for help, and then ask for all the help you need to support you.
Practice daily affirmations.

Couple months ago I was trying heavily to have daily affirmations, I wrote couple of inspiring and for me important quotes, like:
"ALWAYS TRY TO STAY IN PRESENT
HEALING IS POSSIBLE
GIVE SELF A HUG"

Well after some time somehow I lost my determination and somewhere in between I lost it somehow.
Well now is the time to try one more time.
So I'm trying to do do something positive toward myself and to light some inner light.

For start I'm trying to have at least every day in the morning one affirmative thought.
I'm trying to wrote something like journal and to be aware of my feelings and emotions, especially when I'm down and in some bad spot.
I recently bought Teddy bear (my first, lol) and I'm not alone in m bed and it feels so good to hug it in the early morning, lol

And for end I have one question: what positive thing did you do today for yourself, is there something?

Let's fight our negative self image by some positive thoughts.
Let's make some dreams to become true!

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#423887 - 01/31/13 04:03 PM Re: affirmations! [Re: peroperic2009]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1039

I think I just took a big step today that could help ease my current financial stress. So that's good. Won't know more until next week though and it could all still come crumbling down (as it often does).

We have to say something positive about ourselves every day? That's a tough one. : )

I am a big skeptic of self-actualized positive affirmation. Things are what they are, and happy thoughts don't tend to change them (see: Republicans who thought Mitt Romney was going to win in a landslide; I was surrounded by them).

That said, I see their value, too, in a limited way. Can't always be sad and mopey, even if that feels most real to us. Gotta keep moving forward, and incremental positive thoughts help with that, I guess.

I gotta go pick up my car from the shop, and the bill for it is NOT in my budget this month... so not sure how that's going to help me... but at least my car is running now.

Happy thoughts!

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#423925 - 01/31/13 09:14 PM Re: affirmations! [Re: peroperic2009]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3356
Loc: somewhere in Africa
that's great, Pero!

i sometimes think we have to be the kind and loving and protective and supportive parent to ourselves that we didn't have - and desperately missed - as a child. you are being a GOOD parent now to yourSELF!

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#423929 - 01/31/13 09:37 PM Re: affirmations! [Re: peroperic2009]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1963
Loc: durham, north england
Hi Pero.

This is something I struggle with, since I universally have a negative attitude to anything concerning myself. If someone says "this is great, your going to do this good thing" I'll start considdering problems.

What however I find myself is best is to simply not considder the future to be good or bad but to try and enjoy whatever is in the present as much as possible. For example I was at a rehearsal tonight for the production we're doing. While I never said this, my mind is now only thinking on the various problems with the show, and in particular the bits I do not know in terms of staging, acting etc. yet, if I forget this and concentrate on the fun I had rehearsing, prancing around the stage like a total idiot (after all I'm playing a very idiotic lord, albeit one who gets to sing beautifully), I find that I am not concerned about the future half as badly.

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#423977 - 02/01/13 10:29 AM Re: affirmations! [Re: cant_remember]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Originally Posted By: cant_remember
We have to say something positive about ourselves every day? That's a tough one. : )

Yes Cant wink
not just to say but to think and spot something good in us. Something that we are not usually aware but there it is.
So is there something that you are willing to share with us that is good about You wink ?

Originally Posted By: cant_remember
I am a big skeptic of self-actualized positive affirmation. Things are what they are, and happy thoughts don't tend to change them (see: Republicans who thought Mitt Romney was going to win in a landslide; I was surrounded by them).

I can follow you in being skeptic and yes things are like they are. But my "affirmative" question for training a gray matter would be: What can you do today (not tomorrow or in some distant future) to change some of those things in way that you'll be more satisfied as person deep inside? Something no matter how small just that is achievable and that would suite all of you including Izzy, Big Cant and Little Cant wink ?

Originally Posted By: traveler
that's great, Pero!
i sometimes think we have to be the kind and loving and protective and supportive parent to ourselves that we didn't have - and desperately missed - as a child. you are being a GOOD parent now to yourSELF!
Lee

Many times I'm not aware how hard I'm on myself reflecting my background environment and it's moral values. As I've been raised in very strict and conservative ambience many time I'm very restrictive and unconsciously to myself. I would never treat under same terms someone who was abused, confused and full of shame. Instead of judging me, forcing flowing in shame and imposing restrictions in exploring life it would be better that I was full of love and care, supporting my self in going out of comfort zone and trying to move forwards, after all everything will be alright!
But it is never too late to do that wink
Originally Posted By: dark empathy
This is something I struggle with, since I universally have a negative attitude to anything concerning myself. If someone says "this is great, your going to do this good thing" I'll start considdering problems.

Yes Luke, I'm more than sure that many of us have similar struggles.
Abuse was destructive force that shaped us in way not to be confident and self aware in positive sense but rather in some negative. That is really hurtful and like prolonged arm of our terrible experiences that keeps up from point to use our full potentials.

Originally Posted By: dark empathy
What however I find myself is best is to simply not considder the future to be good or bad but to try and enjoy whatever is in the present as much as possible. For example I was at a rehearsal tonight for the production we're doing. While I never said this, my mind is now only thinking on the various problems with the show, and in particular the bits I do not know in terms of staging, acting etc. yet, if I forget this and concentrate on the fun I had rehearsing, prancing around the stage like a total idiot (after all I'm playing a very idiotic lord, albeit one who gets to sing beautifully), I find that I am not concerned about the future half as badly.


You got terrible good point here. Living in the moment enjoying every possible opportunity that has been offered is way as I see that leads us to more freedom!

Hugs for all of you!

Pero
_________________________
My story

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