Dot
CSA fucks with our heads and can influence our choices and confusions. A lot of people think being trans is about genitalia and silicone boobs but it is not. CSA could have an impact on your choice (an inappropriate word, I know) but I don’t think that it would be the only reason. Here in Australia to make the transition you have to have specialized therapist counselling before you can go ahead. I think it is the same in the western world. I also think this is something you could bring up to your T as it would help to live as the person you are.
As a young boy I wanted to be a girl and if possible I would play dress-ups in female clothes, play with dolls, had a secret stash of girl’s books and when we played cowboys and Indians at school I was always Annie Oakley. I was always in trouble for being sissy. When puberty set in I was virtually put under house arrest, I was constantly monitored, not allowed out without a chaperone, I soon learned to be macho and by the age 18 I was released from home detention. This was in the early 60’s so there was no option for me. I am comfortable with who I am I know others my age that are not.
When my marriage broke down, and with my early life I had to explore my life and decided it was not an option for me as I had adapted to being me. I volunteered at the local Aids Council and was able to get some programs going for trans/cross dressers and into Gayline telephone training and services.
Dusty