(((( Gecko ))))
You're winning this game, brother. You're understanding your defense mechanisms and working to overcoming them.
Understanding that your subconscious was trying to sabotage your relationship in order to keep you "safe" is a great step, and the fact that your girlfriend saw through this and continued coming to your T session into your "safe place" is a HUGE sign that you're in a good place right now.
Congrats, brother. Proud of you.
Team Rubber Band!
"There is a Catskill eagle in some souls that can alike dive down into the blackest gorges, and soar out of them again and become invisible in the sunny spaces... even in his lowest swoop the mountain eagle is still higher than other birds upon the plain, even though they soar." -- from Moby-Dick