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#423765 - 01/30/13 04:17 PM Leap - its Good for Your Health
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 392
Loc: west coast
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2013/01/29/quebec-montreal-gay-study.html

Sort of sounds hokey but COMING OUT , IS good for your mental health.

Some newcomers have asked if it gets better or if there is such a thing as RECOVERY. I always say its a process, not an event, but the more you do , the better it gets. Given we never got the tools for human relationships like others, we will always be a little unique - but hell it doesnt mean we wont live great lives.

The study basically says that there is reduced anxiety , stress hormones, sleeplessness and inner turmoir by coming out. When the real you is accepted by those you love , that feeling as an adult wipes out so much of the shame we sometimes carry from the start. Its like restoring something that has been lost when no one told the little kid it was "going to be ok". Not coming out denies those you love the opportunity to really know and love the real you. What a gift you give them and in return that feeling of acceptance as a person is something i waited 50 years for.

But what if they dont accept you. Well like Dr Suis said, to those that count - it wont matter, to those that it matters to - they dont count. Its tough at first but the power is in your court now. There is nothing they can do to hurt you any longer.

There is so much more to recovery, but just accepting yourself is sure a good first step. Ok leap.

Cheers
_________________________
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

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#423861 - 01/31/13 11:14 AM Re: Leap - its Good for Your Health [Re: 1lifenow]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 08:53 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#424232 - 02/04/13 10:16 AM Re: Leap - its Good for Your Health [Re: 1lifenow]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
What a great topic 1life.

What I'll add from the perspective of observer is that in the course of my lifetime I've been lucky enough to have seen the whole issue turned on its ear. People like me were reviled, shunned and beaten by law enforcement in an era dominated by the likes of heavens J. Edgar Hoover. Today we serve openly and proudly in the U.S. military, give Americans their news, get married, have kids, etc.

Not to say we've arrived, as such. Like our personal journeys, it's a process.

I mourn and honor the likes of Matthew Shepard who have been forced to sacrifice their very lives for what they are. By comparison, those who choose to continue to hide today, imo and it may not be popular, are dishonoring the memory of those souls.

For that perspective, it explains why I'm sometimes impatient, even on these boards, with those who are scared to be exactly who they are. And, to be honest, I still enjoy a good laff when yet another homo-hating politician or pastor gets caught with his pants down.

I'm quite satisfied being exactly who I am. Damn, it's been good for me. Self-confidence hasn't come easily, but isn't it a nice turn to see others squirm because they're uncomfortable being around a "fag"? Says more about their issues than mine.

On the family front, I had to make some decisions. The adoptive mommybitch and third hubby were continually concerned about what their country club cadre would say "if they found out." And I was hit with phrases from her like, "How could you do this to ME!" As many of us have no doubt read at one time, I should have told them I had inoperable brain cancer and then said, "Just kidding. I'm gay." As I examined their reactions, it became clear these were self-absorbed, superficial people who would never get it. It started to explain the rest of the abuse, right up to essentially delivering me to my high school counselor sexual abuser. I walked away and have a life that hasn't involved dancing around their warped sense of ethics.

Short version, I jettisoned the unnecessary stress and, frankly, get some satisfaction that they've stewed in their own prejudices. I put the "problem" right back in their laps where it belongs.

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