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#423571 - 01/29/13 10:49 AM The Simple Fact
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1570
Loc: New England
The simple fact is that whatever our differences are in orientation, lifestyle, religion, or route for recovery, we share one common bond: We were all sexually abused as boys. We were all damaged by that abuse in so many ways that complete recovery seems like an impossible dream.

But because of our common bond, no one else "gets it" like we do. No one else understands our pain like we do. No one else can see how difficult it is to "just get past it", like we do. No one else knows what its like to be a trusting innocent boy and be turned into someone's sex-toy and then thrown away like trash, like we do.

This is what we are here for. To show each other that some one else gets it, understands it, feels it. To be validated in our experiences and feelings. That we're not alone and crazy. That no matter what reactions we get from others in this world, that there is a place we can go and be understood, and not judged. Don't let yourselves forget how rare and valuable that is.

And don't let yourselves forget that everyone here is a real flesh-and-blood man, not just words on a screen. All of us are easily hurt by careless words, and so what we say to one another matters.

Peace Out.

Jude


Edited by Jude (01/29/13 08:36 PM)
Edit Reason: Omitted nasty word
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Everyday is a faded sign
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#423575 - 01/29/13 10:53 AM Re: The Simple Fact [Re: Jude]
ACRoberts Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/10
Posts: 242
Loc: New Jersey (recently moved fro...
Jude,
Thank you for your post. I think we all need to remember to choose our words carefully when posting. It is SO easy when triggered to dump our feelings here without thinking that the person on the other end is a "real flesh-and-blood man".
Again, thanks!
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#423576 - 01/29/13 10:53 AM Re: The Simple Fact [Re: Jude]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6540
Loc: Never Sugar Mountain
WELL SAID!
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Stop expecting people to be other than what they are! You'll be so much better-off. [Christopher, age 10]

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#423589 - 01/29/13 11:51 AM Re: The Simple Fact [Re: Jude]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1045
(((( Jude ))))

Well said, indeed. When I'm here in MS, I know that everyone here "gets it," which is more than I can say for any one in my real life (aside from the T's, and even them, I'm not so sure). I just recently had to write-off a friend I've had since high school because he wouldn't get it, and it wasn't worth the effort any more.

This place saves lives. I know that for a fact.

Cant
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#423593 - 01/29/13 12:06 PM Re: The Simple Fact [Re: Jude]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3613
Loc: South-East Europe
Thanks for this topic Jude wink !
Indeed we are all made form flash and blood and sometimes very vulnerable. I hope we will be more careful in discussions and more emphatic toward each other.

Group hug for everyone smile

((((MS))))
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#423597 - 01/29/13 12:29 PM Re: The Simple Fact [Re: Jude]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1045
Also,

While it is true that we can get our feelings hurt here by insensitive posts (and I'm not sure which ones we're talking about here), it is also true that if we are wounded by a nasty post or thread, it is important to disengage and walk away from it.

I have had this problem in the past, both on here and on Facebook during the Sandusky shit, and I was wrong to let my emotions get the best of me and feed the flame war.

So there's two things to know: first, don't be an ass; and second, if someone is being an ass, try to walk away and let it go.

Is this about the "I wish I was abused" thread? I avoided that thread like the plague because the title was triggering enough, and I just saw that the ModTeam closed it down... so I'm guessing it got a little heated? Anyway, group hug!

(((((( MS )))))))

Cant
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#423598 - 01/29/13 12:36 PM Re: The Simple Fact [Re: cant_remember]
Candu Offline


Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
Originally Posted By: cant_remember
While it is true that we can get our feelings hurt here by insensitive posts (and I'm not sure which ones we're talking about here), it is also true that if we are wounded by a nasty post or thread, it is important to disengage and walk away from it.


That's right. I don't read everything here. I don't need to know every thought or difficulty expressed here. Sometimes I want to read it and sometimes I find that it is not in my best interest (at the time) to take everything in.

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#423602 - 01/29/13 01:34 PM Re: The Simple Fact [Re: Jude]
CloudyFalls Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/18/12
Posts: 169
Loc: Ohio
That word fuck toy really resonates with me... I used to describe myself as Curtis's favorite cousin, then later somewhat like his favorite toy. But fuck toy perfectly describes what I was to him. I was his favorite fuck toy... to hear it like that just sickens me.
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#423645 - 01/29/13 08:36 PM Re: The Simple Fact [Re: CloudyFalls]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1570
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: CloudyFalls
I was his favorite fuck toy... to hear it like that just sickens me.


Dear Cloudy,

I am so sorry to have upset you with my use of that term. I have edited my post to omit it so no one else will be triggered.

Jude
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Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine.
Sheryl Crow

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