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#423501 - 01/28/13 09:25 PM Law Enforcement
sdc Offline


Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 32
Maybe someone further along in this process can tell me if it is typical for law enforcement/investigators to lack understanding about male sex abuse victims and to lack aggressiveness in investigating and/or attempting to prosecute these cases.
I'm feeling like so many victims have to be retraumatized by the lack of interest shown by the police.
I experienced this today with my nephew and the police and not only was it surreal, but it was devastating.

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#423513 - 01/28/13 10:53 PM Re: Law Enforcement [Re: sdc]
ALovingMum Offline


Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 46
Loc: England
sdc,

So sorry to hear this. I knew this would happen which is why I sent you a pm in order to try and help you. I have been through this 3.5 years, and I have helped other mothers in the UK, USA, Canada, France, Belgium, in fact the whole of Western Europe, Australia, New Caledonia (French colony in the Pacific) etc - there seems to be a template in all these places - the investigations are a joke. It is not a mistake. That is the usual template. They ignore/minise evidence or waste time until the evidence has been gotten rid of by the named perp, and then they turn around and tell the victim and the family there is 'insufficient evidence' to proceed to a prosecution. This is standard. If you actually find a Police force that did a thorough investigation, it is extremely rare, and when they happen they are usually with regards to non-familial paedophiles. The reasons are too long for me to go into here. In any case, it does not help. What you need is practical help to ensure the investigation succeeds. And your sister and her kids are safe. You need to know and warn your sister with respect to her daughter (the niece you mentioned), if she is this man's biological daughter, or named as a child of the family even if she is not his biological daughter subject to your jurisdiction - you need to start making safety plans now. Usually if the investigation does not lead to a prosecution and conviction, he will take your sister to family court for custody of or access to your niece if she is his daughter or a child of the family - and that is where things will start to get really really bad. This stage you are in now, is the beginning, and the easy stage. So it is crucial you make sure they get it right at this stage because if they don't, it will get worse. I am sorry, I wish there was a better way to say this, but there isn't. I am living through the hell right now. And I do not wish this on my worst enemy. I will be more than happy to point you in the right direction so that you and your sister avoid the mistakes I made in trusting the authorities to do their jobs and protect my children. You do not need the agony that will ensue if he is not prosecuted.

You are at a stage now, where you still have some level of control. In the family court, abusive men rule. Evidence is ignored and the abused are forced back into the hands of their abusers. Have you ever heard of Parental Alienation Syndrome by Richard Gardner? That is the familial paedophile's favoured defence in family courts all across the western hemisphere. Google all about it and get yourself armed.

If you need help and pointers as to what to do whilst the investigation is still early, I suggest you respond to my pm so that I can guide you in as much way as possible. If you choose not to, I will respect your decision.

I wish you and your family the best of luck.

A Loving Mum.
_________________________
Daily I worry for the safety of my young sons - but worry achieves nothing! So I pray for their safety!

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#423554 - 01/29/13 09:56 AM Re: Law Enforcement [Re: sdc]
sdc Offline


Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 32
Yesterday, my nephew did a recorded call with the perpetrator. I went with him for support. I thought the call went well. The perp never denied anything, however he did not openly admit anything. Yet, there was a clear implied understanding during the conversation. He asked if my nephew had gone to the police....who asks that without any reason to ask ? He gave my nephew his new cell number. He said many times they shouldn't talk on the phone. He told him to come to his work so they could talk in person and get a "plan".
The detective says he doesn't know if he as the "man power" to set up an in person wire tap. Then abruptly said, "if we don't get more on him, this case is closed". It was devastating for us and even more so for my nephew. I do not understand the response of the police.

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#423569 - 01/29/13 10:41 AM Re: Law Enforcement [Re: sdc]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: sdc
Maybe someone further along in this process can tell me if it is typical for law enforcement/investigators to lack understanding about male sex abuse victims and to lack aggressiveness in investigating and/or attempting to prosecute these cases.
I'm feeling like so many victims have to be retraumatized by the lack of interest shown by the police.
I experienced this today with my nephew and the police and not only was it surreal, but it was devastating.


YES! Its VERY typical! There are ways to help and change things for you and your nephew. I'm going to PM some questions for you.
_________________________
This nation has lost its mind!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#423581 - 01/29/13 11:05 AM Re: Law Enforcement [Re: Still]
sugarbaby Offline


Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 341
This may be a long shot but you said you had a photo:

The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) is dedicated to creating public awareness of the mental and physical harm child sexual exploitation causes to child victims, families, and society. NCMEC’s Office of Legal Counsel staff can assist with presentations to schools, town meetings, and other public forums regarding the investigation, prosecution, and prevention of child pornography and sexual exploitation.

Please contact NCMEC’s Office of Legal Counsel at 1-703-224-2150, ext. 6483 for assistance.

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#423582 - 01/29/13 11:06 AM Re: Law Enforcement [Re: sdc]
sdc Offline


Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 32
I suddenly feel like I need to lobby for change ! Thankfully, I am able to advocate for my family...but not all have the ability to do that. Many families would be told there was nothing more they can do and they would just accept that as truth.

I firmly believe this male detective does NOT understand how a teenage boy could be sexually abused uncontested....I believe that will all my heart.

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#423583 - 01/29/13 11:08 AM Re: Law Enforcement [Re: sugarbaby]
sdc Offline


Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 32
It may be a long shot, but I am willing to do it. I am willing to entertain and research every single idea that is given to me. I will not give up...nor will I be bullied by this police department.

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#423611 - 01/29/13 03:03 PM Re: Law Enforcement [Re: sdc]
sdc Offline


Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 32
I realized today that I have to push forward by any means necessary...if there is a resource in front of me, I will use it, not fear it.

I did take the advice of sugarbaby and I filed a cybertip @ Project Safe Childhood through the Missing and Exploited Children's Cybertip Line. They will only take tips regarding nonfamilial sex abuse/exploitation, so I gave them the information regarding the images found on the perp's computer...it may result in nothing, but at least I know I sent them the information.

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#423661 - 01/29/13 10:38 PM Re: Law Enforcement [Re: sdc]
ALovingMum Offline


Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 46
Loc: England
Originally Posted By: sdc
I did take the advice of sugarbaby and I filed a cybertip @ Project Safe Childhood through the Missing and Exploited Children's Cybertip Line. They will only take tips regarding nonfamilial sex abuse/exploitation
.

You cannot rely on them then. Familial child sexual abuse form more about 80% of all child sexual abuse - yet they are not interested, but will only pursue stranger danger or non-familial abuse. What sort of message is a paedophile supposed to infer from that?
_________________________
Daily I worry for the safety of my young sons - but worry achieves nothing! So I pray for their safety!

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#423718 - 01/30/13 08:57 AM Re: Law Enforcement [Re: sdc]
sugarbaby Offline


Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 341
SDC - Did they refer you to anyone else?


Edited by sugarbaby (01/30/13 08:58 AM)

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