So sorry to hear about your Uncle. I was looking at your uncle's photograph when my 6 year old son walked in, he pointed to the photo and said: "He 'was' a good man!". "Mum he is dead, isn't he?". My mouth dropped open! I asked him how he knew the man was a good man and that he was dead, and he said, "I just knew it". My son is like that - sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable when he says things he has no natural knowledge of.
I confirmed to him that a very good man. And that he was my friend's uncle.
Still, I think you should go to his wake. Ignored those who did not inform you. Don't let them see that their ignorance hurt you. Just ignore them. If they dare ask you how you knew, tell them he was your uncle and that it is a very small world.
We are all here for you. Take solace in the knowledge that he was a good man, who fulfilled his destiny here on earth and touched many lives.
Daily I worry for the safety of my young sons - but worry achieves nothing! So I pray for their safety!