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#422140 - 01/15/13 09:35 AM Our Story - Help with Prosecution
sdc Offline


Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 32
I am brand new to this forum and this is my first post. I am hoping that by sharing my story, others who are much further along in their journeys will be able to offer myself and my family assistance.

The story is long, so I will try to condense it as much as possible. On December 23rd, my 17 nephew disclosed to me that his step-dad was giving him drugs, alcohol and sexually abusing him.

With that information I went straight to their home and told step-dad he needed to get out or I would be calling the police. He packed up his laptop and left. The very next day, Christmas Eve, my sister filed a restraining order and make a report to the local police.

Since that time, my nephew and his 6 year old sister have both had forensic interviews and sex abuse exams. The judge has already lifted the restraining order. My nephew, so overwhelmed with the situation became suicidal and was admitted to the childrens psychiatric unit for two days. While there, his urine was tested and was positive for Benzo's.

My sister never went back to her home. She moved herself and the children immediately. We met for the first time with the detective yesterday, 21 days after the report had been filed. At this time he had done nothing with the case. We informed him that there were incriminating text messages on the perp's phone and he was unsure whether or not he could get them. He stated that the step-dad doesn't have to talk to him if he doesn't want to. We left feeling help less and hope less. Can a case without strong physical evidence be prosecuted...I know I have left things out, so it's ok to ask questions. Thanks in advance for your help.

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#422209 - 01/16/13 06:38 AM Re: Our Story - Help with Prosecution [Re: sdc]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Much support for your courage sdc, welcome to MaleSurvivor. Thank you for listening to a fellow survivor. I hope that your extended family finds the relief they seek. Please thoroughly research this issue, go to ground with the information you have. Where the investigation takes you, follow it.

My best to you,
Sam
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#422222 - 01/16/13 08:43 AM Re: Our Story - Help with Prosecution [Re: sdc]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5780
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Quote:
Can a case without strong physical evidence be prosecuted...


There doesn't have to be any physical evidence. At 17, your nephew can easily testify. If a victim is inconsistent in his/her story or contradicts in testimony, the law says "beyond a reasonable doubt" for conviction.

In my experience, perpetrators generally will admit (Jerry Sandusky excluded) when confronted by the victim. The prosecution should be supportive to your nephew and do everything to help him and his family out. If your sister feels he is not being properly protected and supportive, she should ask the prosecutor's boss to look into the situation.

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#422230 - 01/16/13 10:52 AM Re: Our Story - Help with Prosecution [Re: sdc]
sdc Offline


Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 32
Thanks for your responses. As with everyone who has experienced this kind of abuse, the trauma has bee overwhelming. I met with the detective yesterday...and he basically said, this is a "he said, she said" situation. I disagree. My nephews disclosure has been consistant. He has no motivation to lie..in fact it was just the opposite. He was very afraid of the repercussions his family would face once he disclosed the abuse. Unfortunately, many of those things are coming true. The detective says he cannot get the text messages because too much time has passed....I sense this is never going to make it to court, which will be devastating for my nephew and our family.

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#422278 - 01/16/13 04:21 PM Re: Our Story - Help with Prosecution [Re: sdc]
femalethriver Offline


Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 14
Loc: Columbus, Ohio
welcome, sdc - children rarely lie about such a thing. i've fought with many friends to prosecution and it is disgusting and triffling fight. one step-dad of a friend was abusing his step-daughter, she disclosed to her aunt, the daughter was removed from the home (now living with her bio father) and nothing has happened to date to the step-dad. that was a over year ago - families oftentimes give up, the law is crazy awful for CSA. FAmilies who stick to it will get results. were you/your sister put in touch with an advocate yet? read this article, it's helpful - http://www.vaw.umn.edu/documents/strateg...ualabusepdf.pdf

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#422279 - 01/16/13 04:21 PM Re: Our Story - Help with Prosecution [Re: sdc]
femalethriver Offline


Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 14
Loc: Columbus, Ohio
edit: i've fought "alongside" many friends who are prosecuting family members.

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#422365 - 01/17/13 10:52 AM Re: Our Story - Help with Prosecution [Re: sdc]
sdc Offline


Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 32
At this time we are told that we don't "qualify" for an advocate. It must be appointed by the judge, and the judge has yet to do so. I did try to call on my own and have a GAL appointed for my nephew. I was also lucky enough to speak to an MD yesterday from CHOP who specializes in prosecuting CSA. Her words were very encouraging. We will not stop fighting. It has never been more evident to me how much education is needed regarding CSA...especially when the victim is a male and even more so if he is a teenager. When I talk to people, they don't understand how a teenager "would let something like this happen"...

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#422399 - 01/17/13 04:29 PM Re: Our Story - Help with Prosecution [Re: sdc]
femalethriver Offline


Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 14
Loc: Columbus, Ohio
The hospital or dept of the hospital that did the exams should be able to give you resources. I'm sickened by the words you placed in quotations. So much to learn, you nailed it. I don't pray much ... But you, your nephew and family are in my thoughts.

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#422534 - 01/18/13 02:26 PM Re: Our Story - Help with Prosecution [Re: sdc]
sdc Offline


Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 32
femalethriver - Thank you for your thoughts, it's good to know someone understands.
I think everyone thinks this could never happen in their family...but it does and when it does, you have to fight.

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#422909 - 01/22/13 10:01 AM Re: Our Story - Help with Prosecution [Re: sdc]
confusion4life Offline


Registered: 02/12/12
Posts: 109
Loc: Italy
besides the trauma that all of you have to deal with now because of this perp, you do have a chance to get him in jail.
even if he doesnt go to jail, he at least has to answer questions by officials, has to take SOME responsibility for what he has done. fact is, the victims (little kids) have not done anything wrong but he has. regarding that, the kids have a right that someone fights for their rights. they need to know that they were not at fault but the stepdad was. thats essential to their healing. you are doing everything right.
its always uncomfortable, as only very few perps just admit what they have done, which means the kids might be asked (with a psychologist most probably...) but that too shows them, if done the right way, that they were not at fault and that someone cares for them.
i really with you all the luck in the world to go thru this. you are a fighter for the right of the kids and the kids are lucky to have you. most of the times noone ever finds out and the kids never feel any sort of justice is done, not even someone saying: it wasnt about you, the person is a perp and he would have abused anyone he had the opportunity to do so.

keep it up!
ela
( i also faught for my daughter, who was abused by her father....you believe it or not, but things do get better! never forget that!)
_________________________
everything is always okay in the end, if it's not, then it's not the end

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