...multiple abusers from the age of 4 to about 17. Degrees of abuse ranging from sitting on the knee of older boys while they "took care" of themselves to giving hand jobs and oral to someone a decade and a half older than me. Made for a very lonely existence. Married, father, widowed in the mid-40s. Met someone of the male gender. So very kind and handsome at first. He knew the pattern even before I told him. He knew what he was doing. Went in for an outpatient surgery- double hernia to be exact-ouch. Shaved down, surgically invaded, stitched up and taken home for the anesthesia and meds to wear off, all the while taking a few pain pills...and that my friends, was the beginning of the defeated man. On that very day. Guess it is about power and control over another, cause I just wasn't very appealing laying there numbed and mumbling incoherently. Could not have been.... but that's my story in a nutshell. Have never shared with anyone other than the therapist, but it hurts so badly and so deeply. I am just now beginning to realize the impact to my spirit, to my life. And if I am correct, realizing this is the beginning to the victorious man... right?
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For now we see through a glass, darkly.