who is standing by doing nothing?
i find that generalization disturbing...
are we doing nothing?
good heavens... maybe this, to me, is waving a red flag in front of the bull because it gets me in a place where i say: strength comes in many forms...and that may be your idea of "strong" marc, but that is not my meaning of "strong" and what about all those people who have not developed a definition for themselves? do you see how threatening such a statement is?
i am sure you do not mean it the way i am reading into it and so i am sorry to belabor this, but i think sensitivity to language is one thing all survivors struggle with: a phrase like this very possibly indicates to some people that if you are not wearing it on your sleeve you are not the strongest, and so then must be "weak" and whatever else negative connotation is implied by not being included among the strongest.
forgive me...i just think inclusive language is really important...as you said, we are together in this...raging against the machine is one thing, but raging against the machine and imply that those who do not are "not the strongest" is another...
and i concede that we all have different strengths...i am a weak human being, period. physically, emotionally, intellectually...but i am so hard on myself, and many others are too...i do not think the challenge is healthy...
We can not have it both ways. Yes godsrabbit, I believe that you are weak at this time in your life. (Speaking my mind and not attacking.
) I believe this is also a temporary issue however. Do you have difficulty with confrontation? With anger? By your own words, yes you do. You are not by any manner of speaking a 'slave' to it however. With your healing will come strength and with that strength, I would hope a sense of responsibility. For it is this and only this ability to act which can save others. As I mentioned earlier, I do
believe that I am my brothers keeper. I choose to carry the burden at this time and I wrap myself in that flag and comfort myself with the warmth of these convictions. Again... my choice. Somewhat martyristic and sh^t who's asking me? No one... except the millions or more crying little boys and girls that I refuse silence on behalf of.
I realize that I tend to be a very dominant personality sometimes. I have even been told before by some that they have felt 'steam rolled' by me and so I am aware of this though often unaware when it is occurring.
It is because I do have passion. It is my salvation. Sometimes the ONLY thing that gets me through is my conviction in what I believe is 'right' and my ability to charge into the windmills. Foolish sometimes but again, that is me. Occasionally it is best for me to temper that and this is where someone like you has strength that I do not (Called restraint). I ask for people like you to help me to find a balance somewhere in the middle of this duality. Understand?Joe (Outis)
You honor me that you believe I have any
validity in my words.
I often lose faith quickly in my self and in my beliefs. Though I may know that pragmatically, what I believe and what I say is correct, I lose steam in the fight quickly. I'm afraid after a nervous breakdown that I suffered many years ago while trying to be a 'gay' activist, I became a ghost at the hands of the very community I sought to protect and nuture. Without form or substance. No offense to the gay and lesbian community but we can be a canibalistic lot. That is to say, we eat our own. I believe that it is at least partially because of my effort to be so inclusive
, as godsrabbit earlier mentioned, that the breakdown occurred. I became highly sensitive to ANY confrontation after that for many years. I was left personality-wise a confrontation eunuch.
In lieu of the above, I would claim victim status if only this one time in my life because my body and worse my mind TRULY betrayed me. So I have had a great fear of another breakdown since then though none has ever occuerred and the panic attacks I grew up with have all but disappeared.
Again, thank you for believing in me.
P.S. godsrabbit, don't you dare back down now!
You are already becoming a very valuable member of the pack and if I become too intimidating I shall back down because including you on the site and allowing you a voice is more important to me than anything else. I WON'T eat my own.