Welcome Crushed Heart,
Your name says alot....Welcome to MS.
Recovery starts with breaking the silence about what happened. You've already taken that step. I'd suggest finding a therapist experienced with childhood trauma to help you work through the issues you describe. You may find other issues to deal with in the process. In the meantime, read the posts here, and write some of your own when you feel able to. MS has been a huge help to me in recovery, and I hope you find what you need here.
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to screamJoe Cocker