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#422765 - 01/20/13 09:55 PM I Just Need to Let it Out
Letourski Offline


Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 302
Loc: Canada
I am pretty sure I have bipolar disorder 2. There is no balance in my life. Always a high, and always a low. Nothing in between. The last five years I have struggled with highs and lows. Anxiety, stress at the drop of a hat and severely compromised sleep. I can't do it anymore. I am tired of always making all these adjustments to strike a balance. Avoid coffee, drink three cups a day. Avoid alcohol, get blackout drunk on the weekend.

I just want fucking balance. That's all I want. I want to be able to keep it together. My mom said I am good at hiding it, but I don't want to have hide anything. I am so tired of putting on this face like I have it all together, because I don't. The tide of emotion sways inside me like a pendulum.

I need rest.... peace....

Daniel
_________________________
I am the warrior.

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#422774 - 01/20/13 10:39 PM Re: I Just Need to Let it Out [Re: Letourski]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
You have been heard Daniel, and respected.

Peace,
Sam
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#422777 - 01/20/13 11:24 PM * [Re: Letourski]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 02:13 PM)

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#422780 - 01/20/13 11:34 PM Re: I Just Need to Let it Out [Re: Letourski]
Letourski Offline


Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 302
Loc: Canada
I had a psych evaluation in the summer. Truthfully, I have denied it up until now. Bipolar disorder, sexual abuse from 5 to 7, physically assaulted at age 10, sex addict for over 20 years, confusion and shame. How many things do we have to deal with?
_________________________
I am the warrior.

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#422829 - 01/21/13 03:13 PM Re: I Just Need to Let it Out [Re: Letourski]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1490
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: Letourski
...Bipolar disorder, sexual abuse from 5 to 7, physically assaulted at age 10, sex addict for over 20 years, confusion and shame. How many things do we have to deal with?


Sorry buddy, but we have to deal with all of it. There's no other choice. I'm Bi-polar myself and its no fun. Get yourself to a psychiatrist (thats an MD) and get on some meds that will help even out your moods. Getting out of the cycle of mania-depression, will help you deal more effectively with your other issues. Meds used for bipolar disorder

And giving up the weekend benders won't hurt either.

Jude
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#422832 - 01/21/13 04:44 PM Re: I Just Need to Let it Out [Re: Letourski]
LazyPirate Offline


Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ontario
You on any meds for your head? Took years of trial & error to find what worked for me (for the most part). I used to be manic depressive & bi-polar as all hell. Now I'm fairly even-keeled.
_________________________
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

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#422878 - 01/21/13 11:02 PM Re: I Just Need to Let it Out [Re: Letourski]
Letourski Offline


Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 302
Loc: Canada
I am glad to hear that some of you guys have dealt with this. I have not tried any medication. I have denied this for the last few years. Didn't want to admit that I needed meds to help even me out. My outlook has changed, and I really want to give myself a fighting chance.
_________________________
I am the warrior.

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#423107 - 01/24/13 10:34 AM Re: I Just Need to Let it Out [Re: Letourski]
LazyPirate Offline


Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ontario
For me meds was the way to go... Cleared up a lot of stuff & made life way more tolerable. I highly recommend a trip to the doc for this!
_________________________
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

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#423110 - 01/24/13 12:59 PM Re: I Just Need to Let it Out [Re: Letourski]
Robert1000 Offline


Registered: 06/27/12
Posts: 336
Let me just throw my support toward you, Letourski, and also give a heads up on the meds. I resisted meds for a long, long time, because I was worried about feeling hazy or out of control. Well, the good news is that I tried different combinations with a doctor who asked a lot of questions and responded... and I really like it. I feel like mood swings that seemed out of control are in control, and I don't even notice the meds. But I take them every single day.... And I love it.

Bob

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