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#422713 - 01/20/13 11:31 AM Where do I begin?
firedog Offline


Registered: 01/20/13
Posts: 8
Loc: Stratford, CT
Hello, anyone. I just found this website (finally) after years of pain, anguish, anxiety, which still weigh me down. There's alot of information to absorb on this site, and alot of reading! So I hope to skip a little of that and come right here for suggestions on how I start to recover. Im 37, and my abuse happenned 25 years ago. I am only now searching for help. I don't know how i never found this site, before. For a few years I've been googling male victim, etc. to find nothing except an ASCA support group, which i now attend occaissionally. I am from CT, anybody know what to do from here? Also, i have never belonged to a chat room or whatever, so i'm also new to this! Thanx
p.s. no one tell me "to pray" please.


Edited by firedog (01/20/13 11:48 AM)
_________________________
I Need Help!!

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#422714 - 01/20/13 11:39 AM Re: Where do I begin? [Re: firedog]
ALovingMum Offline


Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 46
Loc: England
Hi Firedog,

You are welcome! I am sorry for the reason you have come here, but I can assure you will find a lot of help here. The guys here are truly wonderful.

ALM.
_________________________
Daily I worry for the safety of my young sons - but worry achieves nothing! So I pray for their safety!

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#422715 - 01/20/13 11:49 AM Re: Where do I begin? [Re: firedog]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1372
Loc: kansas
.


Edited by Obi (05/05/13 11:29 AM)
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#422717 - 01/20/13 12:09 PM Re: Where do I begin? [Re: Obi]
firedog Offline


Registered: 01/20/13
Posts: 8
Loc: Stratford, CT
thanx obi. Had a chance to read most of what's on here. Now time for reading, studying and thinking are over. I need to commence with the recovering.
_________________________
I Need Help!!

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#422740 - 01/20/13 07:18 PM Re: Where do I begin? [Re: firedog]
davidgeorge Offline


Registered: 01/20/13
Posts: 1
Loc: manitoba
I am new to this site and I have suffered guilt and remorse for a long time for these incidents which I did not call sexual abuse but life experiences which happened to me. I now realize that I was abused by older people and I need help to get over it..
I have had many failed encounters with the opposite sex and I don;t know why this has happened. I always called it performance anxiety but even viagra has not helped. I clam up like a shell and I can;t perform at all.

Where do I start to look for help and which issue should I focus on first.
Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated.

They say a child will get over it as he is young and will not remember these
experiences later on in life. I am here to tell you that is not true and I can remember every one of these life experiences and the approximate age I was at when these events happened to me.

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#422812 - 01/21/13 11:53 AM Re: Where do I begin? [Re: davidgeorge]
firedog Offline


Registered: 01/20/13
Posts: 8
Loc: Stratford, CT
Thanx for sharing, but maybe you want to start your own own topic, I'm looking for answers not stories about your sex life.
_________________________
I Need Help!!

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#422818 - 01/21/13 12:55 PM Re: Where do I begin? [Re: firedog]
blacken Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/13/01
Posts: 1286
Loc: Northern Ohio
Hello firedog, & welcome to Male Survivor.

The link below is to Connecticut Sexual Assault Crisis Services, Inc.
http://www.connsacs.org/seeksupport/index.htm

There is also the ability to look up Therapist by following up this link.
http://www.malesurvivor.org/accept-resource-terms.php?page=resourcedirectory

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#422821 - 01/21/13 02:05 PM Re: Where do I begin? [Re: firedog]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1585
Loc: New England
Welcome firedog,

Pull up a comfortable chair and spend some time reading as well as sharing your own experience, strength and hope.

Recovery starts with breaking the silence, so you've already begun. Facing the reality of what happened and what effects its had on you is next, but there's really no roadmap for recovery. I suggest finding yourself a good therapist with experience in trauma recovery. Good luck and keep posting.

Jude
_________________________
Can't be bothered with sorrow
And I can't be bothered with hate, no, no
I'm using up the time but feeling fine every day
That's why I'm telling you
I just want to celebrate another day of livin'
Rare Earth

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#422844 - 01/21/13 06:41 PM Re: Where do I begin? [Re: davidgeorge]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3493
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Originally Posted By: davidgeorge
I am new to this site and I have suffered guilt and remorse for a long time for these incidents which I did not call sexual abuse but life experiences which happened to me. I now realize that I was abused by older people and I need help to get over it..
I have had many failed encounters with the opposite sex and I don;t know why this has happened. I always called it performance anxiety but even viagra has not helped. I clam up like a shell and I can;t perform at all.

Where do I start to look for help and which issue should I focus on first.
Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated.

They say a child will get over it as he is young and will not remember these
experiences later on in life. I am here to tell you that is not true and I can remember every one of these life experiences and the approximate age I was at when these events happened to me.


hi, davidgeorge - and welcome! (and apologies to you, firedog, for stepping in to redirect this hijack!)

davidgeorge - heres's how to get started:

go back and re-open the Introductions Forum. at the top of the list of topics/threads, you will see a "New Topic" button you can click on to start your own thread and post your intro there.

firedog is new here, too and perhaps a bit sensitive.

i know there is a lot to take in all at once - and just learning the ropes is difficult - even without the added stress of revealing private and painful secrets of your past.

hope you'll find the help you need here. it is one good resource. and most of the guys are very supportive. hope to "see" you around...

(and glad to have you with us, too, firedog!)

regards,
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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