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#422815 - 01/21/13 12:29 PM Disappointed
firedog Offline


Registered: 01/20/13
Posts: 8
Loc: Stratford, CT
I am finding it a little discouraging that all the links to help in my geographical area, i have already looked into and exhausted. Hoping that someone can point me in a different direction that i might be overlooking. The links to therapists are a good thing, although none of them help. They are all women who are used to counseling women. And usually demonize men because they are generally the aggressors. Any ideas?
_________________________
I Need Help!!

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#422817 - 01/21/13 12:50 PM Re: Disappointed [Re: firedog]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Hello Firedog, welcome to Male Survivor.
Wow you are seem like in hurry, lol, take it easy buddy, there is no need to rush to anything. I've seen already that Sam told you that healing is more like some marathon, it is long run.

I'm sure that good therapist can be woman just as well as male, there is no difference there. My T is woman and I found she as very good and very supportive.
Maybe you are more comfortable to have male therapists but there is better way to say that than to generalize about men being demonized by women. Any good therapist shouldn't demonize any of his clients, it is simple as that.

I've seen that you just started to look for help, did you think to read some of good books written to help us survivor? As you said that you don't know what to expect from therapy (you mentioned results) it seems that some additional reading could help you to become aware what are you looking for?
Keep sharing with us!

Pero
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My story

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#422820 - 01/21/13 01:16 PM Re: Disappointed [Re: firedog]
firedog Offline


Registered: 01/20/13
Posts: 8
Loc: Stratford, CT
yeah, problem is i've been running this marathon for years. Just because i am new to this site does not mean i am new to recovery. You get to a point in life when you feel like the wheels are just spinning, and no new ground is being traversed. I am at a point where reading about others is only going to make me more angry at society for not doing enough to protect us. I guess i'm more of a proactive person who wishes to engage with other flesh people, rather than cyber-people. I was hoping this community or male survivor group had groups or doctor/shrink referrals in my area. Life is kicking my ass right now, and i'm about a month away from being homeless. I'm sure the stories are powerful, and i'm sure i'll read them eventually, but would you disagree that you know in your own heart when is time for action and when is time for reflection? Well, i have reflected long enough, and if i don't act, i'll never be able to move from my stagnate position.
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I Need Help!!

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#422827 - 01/21/13 02:38 PM Re: Disappointed [Re: firedog]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1478
Loc: New England
Firedog,

Try www.1in6.org. They have alot of information, in addition to a 24/7 chat hotline to speak with a counselor.

And try the Psychology Today website for a listing of therapists by state: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/?gclid=CK_N4OGY-rQCFYLd4AodyBEA2A

Also, not all female therapists are FemiNazis. Alot of guys here have female therapists. You want to move forward...so eliminating half the therapists out there is probably not a good move.

Good luck!

Jude
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#422890 - 01/22/13 03:14 AM Re: Disappointed [Re: firedog]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Firedog, I'm sorry to hear that you could become homeless soon frown
Is there any solution for that problem, can you find some temporary place to stay?

We all are dealing for long time with our issues before it becomes apparent that we have to step in and take some action, that is the reason why many men here are in late thirties, forties, fifties or even older.
I came just last year here and I don't consider myself like experienced in therapy and healing matters, I would rather say that I'm still at begining.
And to tell you more I've never been active in some other cyber space nor forums/chat rooms. This is my first such experience and I found many buddies here and a lot of additional support.

Please be aware that there are healing circle moderated group chat sessions offered to us here, it could be very useful, it is like real groups session, it is interactive and maybe you'd like it more than posting on public boards, here are the links:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=370348#Post370348
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=381367#Post381367
There was some pause in past and I'm not sure is all back in normal schedule like used to be...

Related to reading and sharing, I must say that some of books written by experts for victims of sexual abuse are nothing like some novels, but rather some heavy stuff with a lot of things to think about and even some homework to do, it could be exhausting experience.
You can borrow books form library that is offered at 1 in 6 organization on line, here is the link with even some good books recommended for us survivors:
http://1in6.org/family-and-friends/books-films/

I don't know if something of this would be helpful for you and if it stand for taking some action, I hope it would.
Be well!

Pero
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My story

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