After a few conversations with my therapist, he's trying to get me to acknowledge that I have complex trauma issues due to multiple forms of abuse (neglect, bullying, and CSA) which has made life very difficult to grow up into. He said that the lack of support that I had growing up and culminated in my displaying "similarities" to qualities of aspergers, but has repeated himself over and over saying that he did not diagnose me as having aspergers.
It is difficult for me to not make the worst assumption, because I've had a grandmother, an aunt, acknowledge that they thought something was not quite right with me, alongside the fact that most of my family treated me like I was some unusual creature, and then the childhood schoolyard bullying.
All my life I have wondered if I had some form of autism because of how intensely difficult it has been to form relationships of any kind.
So I have a question for all of you trauma / csa survivors - did you ever question yourself? Did you ever wonder if you might be autistic or have some mild form of social retardation? If so, did you ever recover?
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.
Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM