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#422515 - 01/18/13 11:30 AM .
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
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Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:32 AM)

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#422516 - 01/18/13 11:36 AM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:32 AM)

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#422517 - 01/18/13 11:50 AM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3611
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Life, please try to calm yourself. I'm sorry to hear for such outcome frown
You know any further discussion could just bring some additional troubles, they are not at all people who should stick their noses in your businesses/intimacy, but somehow it seems like they already are doing that.
Can you talk with your T about all this?

Beside all this trouble, considering and working on stopping compulsive acting out and trying to be more supportive and less destructive to self must be highest priority for every survivor.

Please be wise and look for some help. Maybe your parents also could provide some additional support if they know more about compulsive sexual behavior?
Definitely they couldn't be competent to discuss your problems with acting out with such high emotional and I would say negative input, it could be beyond their knowledge.
Also it could be that you need professional help related to acting out, why don't you try to transfer such information to them when some emotions would settle?
Just my two cents.
Hang on!

(((Life)))
_________________________
My story

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#422518 - 01/18/13 11:52 AM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
cosmos Offline


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 184
Loc: Puget Sound
LAD if the computer your using is on the same network and youíre not using some form of secure client to access the internet then all your dad has to do it put a sniffer on the network and everything you do, every site you go to is viewable, including un-encrypted usernames and passwords, its why no one uses telnet anymore and uses SSH. To be even more pernicious he could even look at the NAT tables on the router. Letís just say everything you do on the internet without the use of SSL is viewable by anyone anywhere and 100% traceable back to you. Even the use of SSL does not change the fact that IP info is still viewable by anyone anywhere, only the use of Tor or something like it allows for almost total privacy on-line. Keyloggers are for usernames/passwords and are easily detected.

Cee
_________________________
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine

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#422519 - 01/18/13 12:00 PM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6514
Loc: Terminus
Quote:
this is a boundary NO ONE has the right to cross.


This quote from your post sums it ALL up!

This is a horrid situation! Just fkg Horrid!

There is no undoing it now, but I hope you can all calm-down about it. If she's a Christian, she has NO business judging you harshly and then penalizing you.

I keep saying this to "Christians" over and over again: No where in the Bible's New Testament does it tell us to enforce God's laws or laws you think you are deriving from the text. NEVER are Christians called upon to condemn and penalize and judge-harshly ANYONE for ANYTHING....ever!!!

To do so is mocking the reason Jesus died for us. ALL sins can and will be forgiven, no matter what, upon our acceptance of Him. NO sin is greater or lesser than any other. So if she is to hang signs around sinners necks, let her begin with herself.

I defy her to show me ONE line of scripture of the New Covenant with God that tells her to do this to you or anyone else.

Rather: She ought to be seeking to be a mother...to help you and not torture you. Family ought to be a shelter, not a hostile adversary...and that goes for you too smile


Edited by Still (01/18/13 12:02 PM)
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We don't need another hero! [Aunty Entity 1985]

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#422530 - 01/18/13 01:35 PM . [Re: peroperic2009]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:32 AM)

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#422531 - 01/18/13 01:37 PM . [Re: cosmos]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:32 AM)

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#422536 - 01/18/13 02:44 PM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
cosmos Offline


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 184
Loc: Puget Sound
I think you miss my point a sniffer is going to give you much more info then a keylogger and doesnít require access to your computer. All you do is fire up the sniffer it will record your IP/MAC the destination IP/URL (website) and of course all your unencrypted traffic will be recorded and dumped to a file on the computer running the sniffer, encrypted traffic still reveals IP info. An ipod is not a solution here as a sniffer will still function.

To detect keyloggers try Combofix http://www.bleepingcomputer.com/combofix/how-to-use-combofix. Like I said I use Tor to surf, not paranoid just a network guy who knows the truth. https://www.torproject.org/download/download.html.en

I have a real problem with your dad spying on you like this, my sons are both 24 and outside of playful jesting I would never think of doing this to them, they might live in my house, it might be my network, but they, you are all adults, itís no oneís business but yours what you do online. Of course the caveat here is are you planning illegal activity, which I doubt and chances are the feds would already be monitoring you. The other thing I can tell you about a sniffer is if youíre in IT if and put an unauthorized sniffer on a network not only are you fired but could face severe punishment under the computer fraud and abuse act. You have zero recourse here as itís your dadís network and he has every right to monitor what is going on.

Dude all I gotta say is this just sucks for you, I canít imagine having the stuff I read and write here known by others let alone my dad, my heart goes out to you here, this is just so wrong!

Cee
_________________________
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine

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#422558 - 01/18/13 06:58 PM . [Re: cosmos]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:32 AM)

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#422560 - 01/18/13 07:02 PM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1045
LAD,

Edit that last to take your real name out of it. You don't want it there for Google to get.

I feel for you and your sudden crisis.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#422562 - 01/18/13 07:04 PM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3611
Loc: South-East Europe
Life where would you go buddy? Do you have some job and place to go?
It is not fair to let you go like that, I mean you have some serious issues and you need support not rejection frown
My heart is broken seeing all this frown
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#422563 - 01/18/13 07:05 PM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:31 AM)

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#422566 - 01/18/13 07:29 PM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1716
I think it is important you feel safe, rejection, spying and what looks like stalking will not allow you to heal. It will only remind you of the abuse--being violated, used and abused--you need support--people who need to spy and take control of someone's life is lacking a conscience, compassion and the ability to love. They are looking for love--life plays some twist and turns on how minds grow--was love lacking in your father's life--abandonment, being placed behind others--or whatever.

You need to space yourself from the situation so you can heal.

I wish you the best.

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#422569 - 01/18/13 07:43 PM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
A270465 Offline


Registered: 01/04/13
Posts: 49
Loc: SE Mich
Watch 4 GPS on your phone sir.
_________________________
BrokenLeg@2 EarCutoff@5 RanOver@7 UnanethesizedSurgeries@8 rapedfrom10to11 Dysfunction&Druguse@12 Crime@13 Dotdotdot Violence Jail@18Escaped Prison@19GladiatorSchool Max@20 Supermax@21 HellEnsues THROWNbacktothestreets@26 MarriedWKids@28 HeardofCptsd@33
Seeking help
And the days tick by all the same

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#422572 - 01/18/13 08:28 PM * [Re: Life's A Dream]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 02:09 PM)

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#422595 - 01/18/13 11:11 PM . [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:30 AM)

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#422666 - 01/19/13 08:56 PM * [Re: Life's A Dream]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 02:11 PM)

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#422676 - 01/19/13 10:31 PM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:30 AM)

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#422677 - 01/19/13 10:40 PM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:31 AM)

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#422681 - 01/19/13 10:57 PM * [Re: Life's A Dream]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
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Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 02:11 PM)

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#422683 - 01/19/13 11:09 PM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3611
Loc: South-East Europe
LAD please be wise buddy, please, I'm not sure if that idea about water fast is good at all for you at the moment.
You went trough hell in last 10 days as I know, whit a lot of happenings and changes, there were some destructive actions and at the end you were kicked off your house. That is a lot. And it could be that avoiding taking pills, food and other stuff will bring more stress frown

You need heavy grounding and therapy with some expert in field the most at the moment...

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My story

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#422689 - 01/20/13 01:36 AM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 609
Loc: one foot out the door
Several years ago I went on a water fast for religious purposes. It was a big mistake. I became alternately very belligerent or very suggestible, ping-ponging between the two extremes until a friend of mine had the good sense to use my suggestible state to convince me to eat. I'm not saying that's a normal response (its not), I'm just seconding the caution to be careful, especially if you have to be in a situation where tempers can flare.
_________________________
"These days I just try to keep to myself,
well aware I've lost touch with everyone else.
I understand that I'm fading away."

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#422692 - 01/20/13 03:24 AM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1045
LAD,

Do not start a water fast. You need food.

It seems that you may be trying to control your chaotic situation by making it more chaotic so you can tell yourself that you are in control. Please do not do this. You need to find a place to live and you need a job. Please, focus on the basics.

Trust your EMDR T. The EMDR isn't going to be a magic bullet, and hypnotherapy is even worse. Nothing you remember in hypnosis is admissible in court.

I understand the not-knowing is frustrating. I live with it, too. But giving yourself crisis overload is a recipe for disaster.

Please breathe, and eat.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#422695 - 01/20/13 03:53 AM . [Re: cant_remember]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:30 AM)

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#422707 - 01/20/13 10:14 AM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 916
Loc: New York
46 klonopin in one day....?

Maybe that was a typo but even so the rest all looks like slow suicide regardless. This coupled with your efforts to permanently disable your GI tract... It makes me wonder how much of this is a "cry for help".
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My story

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#422728 - 01/20/13 04:29 PM . [Re: SoccerStar]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:29 AM)

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#422730 - 01/20/13 04:49 PM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3611
Loc: South-East Europe
LAD what is happening there buddy?
Please can you slow down a little bit?
Please think how to be supportive to self and caring. You know just like diaper thing not destructive and hurting self frown

I think that we have more than enough reasons to be concerned for you, is so difficult to acknowledge and accept that you are in some terrible spot and that you need immediate help frown ?
Please think to call that your T or social worker or someone from that ward and speak about all things that are you doing at the moment and that you've done in last two weeks?

I'm sending my warmest hug for you buddy, please fight for yourself
(((LAD)))

We love you man!
_________________________
My story

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#422749 - 01/20/13 08:27 PM * [Re: cant_remember]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 02:12 PM)

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#422752 - 01/20/13 08:32 PM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
Candu Offline


Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
Hey you are doing way too much shit all at the same time. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU IN SUCH A RUSH FOR? Like knowing the answers are going to solve all your problems? It ain't going to happen.

Get yourself stable. A place to live. Get yourself safe and then do all the crazy shit you want.

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#422756 - 01/20/13 09:06 PM . [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:29 AM)

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#422757 - 01/20/13 09:07 PM . [Re: Candu]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:29 AM)

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#422781 - 01/20/13 11:36 PM * [Re: Life's A Dream]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 02:13 PM)

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#422786 - 01/21/13 02:43 AM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Originally Posted By: Life's A Dream
I took the 46 klonopin yesterday. I did fine. Don't ask me how that's possible, but they barely affected me.

That is only possible if you have a seriously bad-ass tolerance for it. And the only way to get that is by taking too much for too long. Please be careful! That is dangerous territory!
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#422793 - 01/21/13 06:55 AM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
A270465 Offline


Registered: 01/04/13
Posts: 49
Loc: SE Mich
Lethal dosw of KL is 60 according to the hospital.
Treading on thin ice...
_________________________
BrokenLeg@2 EarCutoff@5 RanOver@7 UnanethesizedSurgeries@8 rapedfrom10to11 Dysfunction&Druguse@12 Crime@13 Dotdotdot Violence Jail@18Escaped Prison@19GladiatorSchool Max@20 Supermax@21 HellEnsues THROWNbacktothestreets@26 MarriedWKids@28 HeardofCptsd@33
Seeking help
And the days tick by all the same

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#422806 - 01/21/13 10:01 AM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3611
Loc: South-East Europe
from web:
"Klonopin can cause confusion when taken in high doses.
A common sign that a person has taken too much Klonopin is slow reflexes.
Severe drowsiness is another sign that an overdose may be in progress.
An individual who is overdosing on Klonopin may slip into a coma.

Seek medical attention immediately after a suspected overdose"

From Male survvivor:
"If you are in severe crisis or considering self harm and have no one else to speak to call your doctor, emergency services (such as 911), or National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or the Samaratins."

Please call someone LAD and ask for help, you are near brink and it is terrible difficult to watch it frown

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#422843 - 01/21/13 06:39 PM . [Re: peroperic2009]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:29 AM)

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#422847 - 01/21/13 07:00 PM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3611
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Lad, I can't tell you how I'm happy seeing you here.
How come that we can't reach you no matter how hard we are trying?

I mean it is like you are here but actually who knows where and it looks like you are closed to some confident space and having just couple of unhealthy thoughts on your mind ?
Again you like filtered only what you liked to read and again not some healthiest thoughts frown

Do you remember at all everything what did you do in last 48 hours, can you be honest and say it, what about in last 7 days?

I'm heavily praying for you frown
(((LAD)))
_________________________
My story

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#422868 - 01/21/13 09:45 PM * [Re: Life's A Dream]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 02:14 PM)

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#422895 - 01/22/13 05:13 AM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (02/02/13 12:28 AM)

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#422897 - 01/22/13 05:18 AM Re: Mom and DAD found my sexads on craigslist freaking [Re: Life's A Dream]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3611
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey buddy we love you and care for you.
Please let us know how are you doing and if something is happening there. I wish that things are less complicated.
Be aware that you are not alone, we are here to give support to each other wink
Hugs!
(((LAD)))
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My story

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#424048 - 02/02/13 12:30 AM . [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.

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