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#422378 - 01/17/13 12:59 PM My 1st visit with a new T
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Well there are things I like and things I don't like, I'm a bit on the fence about if he is a good fit.

Pros:
Seemed nice and knoledgeable and was easy to talk to.
Explained what he thought he could help me with.

Cons:
Has trouble remembering or possibly listening. "I was abused by my brother when I was Thirteen and he was 16 almost 17"..few minutes later "So at what age were you abused?" and there are several other times as well.

Asked "Does your brother (abuser) identify as gay?" First what does if my brother identifies as gay have to do with the preverbial price of tea in china (aka anything). Also that was one of the other things he forgot, I told him that my mother invites him and his wife and kids over.

There are a few more pros and cons that I can't recall but I'm going to give him another session to evaluate him.
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#422428 - 01/17/13 06:39 PM Re: My 1st visit with a new T [Re: onlyakid]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3319
Loc: back in the USA
it IS a BIG adjustment - for BOTH of you.

yep - give him a chance. he's got a lot to take in all at once. so - asking for details that you've already given - maybe he just needs to make sure he's got it right. better that than acting like the details don't matter - or waiting until a later session.

if any of the questions bother you - say so. that may lead to productive discussion, too. better that you both be honest.

i wish you all the best!
Lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#422439 - 01/17/13 07:41 PM Re: My 1st visit with a new T [Re: onlyakid]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6373
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Quote:
Cons:
Has trouble remembering or possibly listening. "I was abused by my brother when I was Thirteen and he was 16 almost 17"..few minutes later "So at what age were you abused?" and there are several other times as well.

Asked "Does your brother (abuser) identify as gay?" First what does if my brother identifies as gay have to do with the preverbial price of tea in china (aka anything). Also that was one of the other things he forgot, I told him that my mother invites him and his wife and kids over.


NO NO NO NO!!!! If there's a big red flag in this world, its sitting over his head!

All aspects in the shaded quote box says "STAY THE FARG AWAY."

But that's just me.

Im sorry, it says in very clear terms that he subscribes to the old and classic myths from hell, and he's fully ignorant about CSA.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!

Buy him a Mike Lew book. Drop it and run the heck outta there....OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! run

Naaah....fk the book.....just stay away! omg omg omg


Edited by Still (01/17/13 07:42 PM)
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#422912 - 01/22/13 10:32 AM Re: My 1st visit with a new T [Re: onlyakid]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
I am going to give him another session and we are going to talk about all the things I have questions about. He is on the MS list and has supposedly had many male CSA clients so I'm going to give him another chance.

Just a reminder to everyone as the disclaimer on the therapist list states MS has not vetted any of these therapists, so make sure to address any concerns you have these are not automatically true CSA experts.
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#423004 - 01/23/13 09:54 AM Re: My 1st visit with a new T [Re: onlyakid]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1039
I feel for you. Shopping for a T is an exhausting experience.

Cant
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Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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