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#420778 - 01/03/13 03:01 AM Re: Going to 'talk' to my abuser [Re: Farmer Boy]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Lee

I also feel that it would be ok. Perhaps not immediately, but eventually. I hope you get the answers you want, or at least answers that will help you heal. We're all here for you, waiting to support you when you come back.
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#420955 - 01/04/13 08:47 AM Re: Going to 'talk' to my abuser [Re: Farmer Boy]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
I just got back.

Hmmmm. Be careful what you ask for you may just get it!

So we talked for 3 1/2 hours. I was empathetic but firm about the severity of what he did. I got answers to my questions which gave me more questions which gave me more answers.

To be honest I want to vomit right now.

I think eventually it will be healing for us both - but for now we are both feeling numb. There was a lot of ground to cover.

He seemed to be a 'changed man' and I believe his remorse is sincere.

Thanks for ALL the support.

I will post more later after I have digested it all.

Lee
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#420956 - 01/04/13 08:53 AM Re: Going to 'talk' to my abuser [Re: Farmer Boy]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Hang on Lee,
I'm glad that you went trough it, even it could be overwhelming. I hope your feelings will settle and you'll regain your inner peace soon. You are not alone!
Take care of yourself!

(((Lee)))
_________________________
My story

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#420981 - 01/04/13 01:21 PM Re: Going to 'talk' to my abuser [Re: Farmer Boy]
Candu Offline


Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
I can't imagine doing what you have done. No idea of how it would go. My hat goes off to you. I think it will help in the long run.

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#420986 - 01/04/13 02:05 PM Re: Going to 'talk' to my abuser [Re: Farmer Boy]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Thanks Pero and Candu

I thought I would start by discussing my 'getting ready' rootine at the risk of revealing how neurotic and narcissistic I really am. I just hope that out of 10,840 members some of you can relate.

So I spent the night at my parents in law.

Didn't get much sleep which was to be expected but pissed me off because I wanted to look my best. Then I decided it was a good thing to see that I had lost sleep about it. I got up and washed my face and wet me hair then dried it. I didn't brush it because I wanted to have that messy, I just woke up and threw on a shirt kind of look. Like I didn't give a shit about impressing him.

Next I moisturised my face, arms and legs. I wanted to look like the picture of youth and vitality (the opposite of him). I also wanted that slight shine to my skin to accentuate every Oz of muscle on my arms and legs. I had a bit of a stress induced pumple breakout earlier that week and was pleased to see it had completely cleared up and I was now clear skinned again. I shaved my face and trimmed my goatee the day before so I would have a good stubble by friday to define my jaw line.

The outfit.
I decided to wear a polo and shorts (it is hot here). Again I wanted to look like I didn't give a shit about impressing him and just always look good even when I'm not trying.

Shirt - singlet too obviously showing off, T-Shirt too casual, button up shirt too formal - like I was trying too hard to impress. The v-neck of the polo would also show off my chest hair. I decided on a steel blue/grey polo because they really make my blue eyes pop (or so I've been told) and to compliment my dark tan. And a manly colour and just my favourite colour. I have 4. I took them all just in case. They are all tight across my chest and around my biceps (pretty short sleeves) - obviously areas that any man wants to look bigger.

Shorts - Khaki - I have 3 and took them all. All cut just above the knee so when I sit down the ride up and show of my upper leg muscles. Obviously a snug fit around my butt and ..... front.... if you know what I mean. I wanted him to know I was packing heat. I was going to go commando - then realised that I may get aroused and did NOT want him to see that. So opted for a supportive/uplifting pair of jocks. I feel like an idiot saying this but again hoping I'm not alone. Wasn't a problem in the end but It was a good idea after all. I had not considered the copious amount of precum I ended up leaking as I discovered when I went to the toilet after (didn't realise at the time). Wet patch on my shorts WOULD have been embarrassing!!!

I tried on each shirt twice - to see which one was more flattering today. Then each pair of shorts at least 4 times and checked my butt in the mirror and sat down in them each time before deciding on a pair.

Shoes my favourite pair of 'Vans' sneakers (causual canvas skater type shoe) with no socks. Again 'I just threw them on'.

I was ready!!!!

Then I took off my shirt and put on a singlet. I had a 3 hour drive and new from experience I would be sweating like a pig. I would stop and change my shirt just before I got there. I was right - that was a good idea. My sweat smells gross when I am stressed.

But wait - expensive silver watch and wedding ring (just to remind him I am married and he is not x 2. (I don't always wear my ring because it would be damgeous with my job). Watch to show how much better off I am. Finally brand name sunnies on my head.

Now I am ready - full of confidence with a swagger in my step.

HaHaHa. Sooooo now at least you all know how vain I am. If nothing else I hope you got a laugh about how weird I am.

Lee
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#420992 - 01/04/13 02:38 PM Re: Going to 'talk' to my abuser [Re: Farmer Boy]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Lol, hey Lee, that was detailed description of your appearance, you made some impression that is for sure wink
Please don't be so hard on yourself, many of us have some freaky side, lol, don't worry, you are not alone with this.
Must say that I have buddy (hub of my niece) who is terrible into look, every detail is so important and so carefully chosen, even underwear needs to be combined with socks and so on wink only me and my niece knows about it, lol, and he is always trying so hard to look good, but you know people are falling on that, lol
I'm glad to see you in better mood and with some irony, smile , hang on buddy
_________________________
My story

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#420993 - 01/04/13 03:08 PM Re: Going to 'talk' to my abuser [Re: Farmer Boy]
Suwanee Online   content
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 690
Loc: Southeast USA
"... I decided on a steel blue/grey polo because they really make my blue eyes pop..." That's graphic design speak!

Your talk "prep" sounds like something I'd do. Nothing wrong with that!

Will
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

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#420997 - 01/04/13 04:08 PM Re: Going to 'talk' to my abuser [Re: Farmer Boy]
Candu Offline


Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
Originally Posted By: Farmer Boy
I thought I would start by discussing my 'getting ready' rootine ...

... full of confidence with a swagger in my step.
HaHaHa. Sooooo now at least you all know how vain I am. If nothing else I hope you got a laugh about how weird I am.

Shit. This is just like the serials when I was a kid. to be continued

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#421000 - 01/04/13 04:25 PM Re: Going to 'talk' to my abuser [Re: Farmer Boy]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Can't wait season two, lol
_________________________
My story

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#421025 - 01/04/13 09:10 PM * [Re: Farmer Boy]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 01:48 PM)

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