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Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 06:29 AM
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#421536 - 01/08/13 03:29 PM
Introducing Myself
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Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 11/10/12
Posts: 1
Loc: Western Washington
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Hello gentlemen, well at least I think you're all guys anyway.
My name is Marcus, I'm a 50 year old gay man. I was sexually abused by my father from age 5 to age 11. I'm in therapy and recovery and have been for 9 years now. The sexual abuse history came roaring back to my memory a few years ago. I've been struggling with it since then.
My therapist recommended this site so I'm checking it out. I know I need contact with someone else who has been through this and is a little further along the healing path to listen to and talk with.
I have confronted my father, about six months ago and the family all know about it. It's been a rough time but I know I'm doing what I think is best for me and my therapist supports it. I just hate feeling so alone with this.
I also have Dissociative Identity Disorder as a result of this abuse. (google it!)
My life is not a living hell any more thanks to the work I've done so far. But I know I have to dig in to this and start claiming parts of my life back that were taken by his abuse.
I want to cry but can't do so yet. Maybe soon!
Thanks for being here.
_________________________
=Marcus
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#421543 - 01/08/13 04:05 PM
Re: Introducing Myself
[Re: MaxxCor]
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Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 136
Loc: MO
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Welcome Maxx
I've only been here since November, but I have found this a comfortable and safe place, Also, almost impossibly, I have even felt validated by some of our peers. I have been diagnosed with chronic major depression and DOESNOS (a form of CPTSD).
The only people who aren't males are friends and family and they have to announce themselves in common areas, and will leave if anyone is uncomfortable.
I am glad you are on your healing journey, I have been in therapy for about 20years, I have learned to accept that I cry and I am no longer expecting "if you don't stop crying I will give you something to cry about." There are times I wish I could avoid crying now that I cry often, so it goes.
Hope you find this site as helpful as I have
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#421695 - 01/09/13 07:53 PM
Re: Introducing Myself
[Re: MaxxCor]
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Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 67
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Welcome .. I to have only been here since November and it is a safe comfortable place to be. Very sorry to hear of your diagnosis .. Please join us and be content 
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#421707 - 01/09/13 09:17 PM
Re: Introducing Myself
[Re: MaxxCor]
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Greeter
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 575
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The most wonderful thing about this place is that you are most certainly not alone. No two experiences are truly alike - there are so many different dynamics with every experience that you may find you share one specific thing with one person, and another with another person. The lasting shame and dysfunction, however, seem more universal, differing only by degree.
Welcome, Maxx.
_________________________
Eirik (aka Eric)"Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned."Mark Twain
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#421708 - 01/09/13 09:27 PM
Re: Introducing Myself
[Re: Chase Eric]
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Registered: 08/08/12
Posts: 796
Loc: New England
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The most wonderful thing about this place is that you are most certainly not alone. Add to that the wonderful fact that there is generally not any distance between the gay men and the straight guys. This is a place where we are all just men. Jude
_________________________
"Suffering was the only thing that made me feel I was alive, Thought thats just what it cost to survive in this world, ...now I haven't got time for the pain... " -Carly Simon now 67!
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#421837 - 01/11/13 03:41 AM
Re: Introducing Myself
[Re: MaxxCor]
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Greeter
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1556
Loc: Minnesota
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Welcome. Welcome. And welcome
I hope this place gives you more fuel for healing and reclaiming your life- soundsike you have already done some heavy lifting In your recovery! Be gentle with yourself and learn how to truly take care of you - we abused males are complicated and often struggle with life- this is a safe place to share and seek support.
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#433235 - 05/02/13 12:46 AM
Re: Introducing Myself
[Re: Jude]
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Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 92
Loc: Germany
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Add to that the wonderful fact that there is generally not any distance between the gay men and the straight guys. This is a place where we are all just men.
Absolutely Jude!! For me that is very important!!
_________________________
Finding meaning and Brotherhood
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#433249 - 05/02/13 04:21 AM
Re: Introducing Myself
[Re: MaxxCor]
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Junior Member
Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 470
Loc: Canada
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welcome may your visits to this forum be as beneficial to you as they have been for me. 
_________________________
a warrior must learn the art of healing victim -> victor End the Silence
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#433305 - 05/02/13 02:30 PM
Re: Introducing Myself
[Re: MaxxCor]
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Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 725
Loc: ation, Location
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You're among friends Maxx. Our stories are often different, sometimes not. You'll likely find pieces of your own story, some of 'em BIG, among us.
I'll add to Mountainous Buck's note on being gentle with yourself. Though tempting, try not to absorb too much at once.
And, as a gay man, I'll reiterate what Jude said. I've only been on MS since July, but I'm continually surprised that my sexual orientation doesn't seem to be an issue. We're just guys...who have survived not just sexual assault, but assaults on our souls. From my 50-something perspective, though out for decades, that's huge.
_________________________
"The Answer to the Great Question Of Life, the Universe and Everything Is...Forty-two."
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