Guys i need help.
By all i've been reading here, i'm unsure about what kind of feelings are involved with being triggered.
I'm a little concerned if i'm triggering all the time...

I've been almost empty of desires and completely unproductive.
Been closed in a circle of MBing, watching p0rn, playing videogames, hardly leaving the house...
I'm craving sex all the time, my gf has been distant the last few days, (about this relationship i realy need help, but i'll leave it for later, to focus a little better on it), i've been sleeping really awful, eating badly, having MAJOR issues with body image, and quite frankly clamped up inside.

is this a cycle of trggering?
am i just experiencing some form of depression?

i`m at a loss here...

It certainly seems to be a cycle. It can be a cycle of isolation: Are you feeling a sense of safety from this? Predictability? Are you feeling a sense of self harm?

When I get into cycles that involve staying in the house, its nearly always driven by a sense of fear or anxiety about the outside world, or I just need to hide-out and know that I can't be touched, challenged, bothered, anything.

the big issue is that i don't actually feel safe in this manner, its all a kind of numbness.

there is definitely some self harm involved.

Lu -

i don't think i'd call it triggering. but it is definitely not healthy. as i understand it, triggering is a strong reaction to some sensory stimulus - whether a sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, words, music, event - that takes you back to re-experience trauma as a flashback, to have a panic attack, or to react severely that emotions are either extreme and out-of-control or shut down to a zombie-like state.

what you are dealing with, however, sounds pretty typical of what many of us have gone through when we first started dealing with abuse memories. and i had almost exactly the same list of behaviors for a while. it is a terrible, miserable place to be. but it will not last forever. keep working at dealing with it - with help if at all possible - and the symptoms will decrease eventually. try to find more positive and productive ways of coping with the darkness. i don't have a magic wand to make it go away - but i hope knowing that it is pretty common will help.

Lee

I was confused on "being triggered". (not the obvious stuff) This clarifies it for me. I'm still not 100% certain that the term does or does not apply to me but I'm not worried about it. It is what it is.

Thanks guys, i guess i understand a little better what you mean by triggering.

It's awfull, but somehow i think its kind of healing, in a weird way everytime i trigger i eventually come in contact with a new chalenge in my process.



But about this Lee, its been wuite some time since i first disclosed my abuse, and since then i confronted my abuser and shared all of it with my family, but i still go through these stages of clamping up and self sabotaging.
I guess it's all part of the journey, but somehow i think i'm still very much tangled into my trauma.
Maybe it is poiting towards re evaluating my therapy, i've been feeling it has been going around in circles for quite some time...

Any opinions on therapy, and when it doesn't help?