I just started remembering an attack that happened a few years ago. An ordeal of over 12 hours that left me physically and mentally broken. It's crazy how we keep memories from ourselves.. I am finding it difficult to get any support anywhere in my community. There are literally no sources for men, especially men who went through what I did. I can't afford a therapist, but was hoping for a group session or something. Maybe this place will help me out. Our society basically doesn't know or doesn't choose to believe that these attacks occur. I myself did not realize they occurred until this happened to me. I'd really like to talk to some people who had similar experiences. What happened to me was beyond sadistic and violent, and I don't understand how people can just do what they did to me without any issues. I never did anything to anyone and yet this happened to me. I honestly don't know how I survived, and considering the health problems I'm having now, I'm not sure how long I will be around or how I will need to live to keep my health up. Man this is tough. Thanks for your time.

ouray - welcome.

if you can ever find guys who understand, you will find them here.
i can't say i've been through what you have - but i know there are others here who have.
best wishes for your healing - physically as well as emotionally.

Lee

I'm sorry to say that you have come to the right place. They do have "group sessions" of a sort on the chat section of the site. Otherwise, the place is one of the largest repositories I know which contains collective experiences. For me - and I went through therapy a few years back - sharing on this site was enormously helpful. There is something therapeutically liberating about getting this stuff out of your head and onto the screen in front of you where you can see it.

Ouray

You have found the right place, you are not alone. I was gang raped while in the military. It took me nearly 20years before I started dealing with it. Just like you I wonder how these bastards live with themselves everyday, knowing what they did. If you don't want to talk on the open forum, you can send me a private message. It can be found under "my stuff"

You can read my story on www.kilimalesurvivor.wordpress.com

I once considered myself a victim, then I became a survivor. It does take time but you too can become a thriver.

Hi ouray,

Welcome to MS. We are men of all ages, all walks of life, with one thing in common: we were all sexually abused at some point in our lives. You will find alot of men's stories here, some like yours, some very different, but the results that we all live with: shame, anger, fear, difficulty with sexuality and relationships, are similar no matter what we've been through.

Keep posting and reading. You'll find alot of support here. Good luck!

Jude

Welcome brother
This is a place for healing, support, and reclaiming our lives and happiness.

You have found a safe place.

Welcome

Hi Ouray,
I hate the circumstances that brought you here, but are glad that you have found us. We truly understand the pain and confusion. Just take your time and we are here for you. We all have had our paths detoured by others that were bad. Together we can guide our future.
Stay Strong,
Randy

Ouray, you are not alone. I was raped at 25 by my best friend for 2 hours. And, as you said, in a sadistic manner.

You are so correct about there being nothing online. Doesn't help the isolation feeling at all.

Please know my therapist said it happens more often than people think; men are just less prone to report it or even say it happened.

I would welcome hearing from you, and I sincerely hope you get some support here.

Harry

Can feel your pain sir.
I fought off a gang for years inside only to have those same actions bounce back @ me in another security level where cons RAN the place with fear tactics etc.
4 evil bastards once got ahold of me at 1am I fought for over half an hour b4 i was cut up and tied up.
That ended at 3am count.
dunno if that qualiies as support ??????? but u arent alone.

ps

not so easy to post