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#421393 - 01/07/13 01:15 PM Struggling with Steubenville *Triggers*
TwoSpiritRising Offline


Registered: 11/01/12
Posts: 32
For those of you who don't know, five to twenty high school football players repeatedly gang-raped a 15 year-old-girl this week. I am struggling to get out of my seat, and everytime I do I am overtaken by rage and tears. This morning is hard for me.

As Male Survivors, we know how invisible the subject of sexual violence is. I, for one, at this moment, still have no intention of taking to "prove" my childhood sexual abuse to anyone, knowing just how rejecting and triggering the encounter is likely to be. I've decided to keep my suffering to myself until it is extinguished, and I am strong enough to never repress myself again.

I am poking through the comments about Jerry Sandusky, and finding so much similarity to what I am going through. A vast cover-up conspiracy, a vast army of excusers and deniers, and what's worse are those who blame victims. I just can't understand that. How is it that we, as a culture, protect these men, and their evil, violent demons. We feed them, and excuse them. We glorify miscegeny and it's male-targeted equivalent, which is only closely termed "heterosexism," because, we also know, male violence is not about sexual orientation. As a two-spirit male, I would still call it miscegeny: hatred of the feminine.

I stand with our sisters. They are me. I am them. We are survivors together.

Although I don't know what to do. The rapists, who are on video talking about whether or not she was dead while their excited penises were stabbing at her orifices, are not in custody. There are hundreds in the streets, demanding justice. Meanwhile the grey area continues expanding. Did the parents know and buy alcohol for the rape party? Did one of the parties happen at a coaches house? Were date rape drugs used? I stumbled across a YouTube video where a teammate was denouncing the activists, because the team was more important that "some ho." And still they are not being detained.

I wish I had a sword and shield, to slay these demons. I wish I had a hammer to put them in their place. I do. Sigh. I do. I feel, lately, as though it won't be enough until we slay the doubt and fear that keeps ourselves and our fellow humans from acting in accordance with our ancestors:

Many ancient cultures had no word for rape. In fact, by the time they were faced with these tactics by invaders, it was much easier for them to believe that the world had been taken over by some vengeful god; which often came with the aggression.

I believe that people are going to do what they are going to do. I find this in traditional culture. I believe that the strength of peaceful, egalitarian society existed, once upon a time, because those same ancient cultures who had no word for rape, had words for "consequence." Intervention. Compassion. Will. Strength. Truth. Uncomfortability. Healing. Much time has passed since their genocides, but we are still here.

And I, for one, believe in consequence. There will never be an excuse for rape, and until we take these conspiracies to task, the oppressive male in our society continues to embolden. He is broken, he is an addict. Just like me.

And he must be stopped.

TwoSpirit


Edited by TwoSpiritRising (01/07/13 01:18 PM)

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#421395 - 01/07/13 01:37 PM Re: Struggling with Steubenville *Triggers* [Re: TwoSpiritRising]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1045
The Stuebenville rape case is indeed troubling... but let's make sure we have the facts right.

Where did you get the number "five to 20" potential rapists? I've been following this story, and this is the first I've heard of that number.

The case, as it stands right now, alleges that 2 members of the football team raped a high school girl in August 2012, not "this week," as you write above. It is true that other perps could be named, but 5 to 20? Where did that come from?

I am not a mod here, so really I have no business saying so -- but if you're talking about the news, especially triggering rape news, you should make sure that your facts are correct.

Also, it is a good practice to put links to the news story into one's post so that others can read about what is being discussed.

Here's a link from The Nation that covers the protests that happened in Steubenville over the weekend and latest developments in this story:

http://www.thenation.com/blog/172036/steubenville-rape-case-weekend-updates-protests-mount#

Cant


Edited by cant_remember (01/07/13 02:19 PM)
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#421421 - 01/07/13 08:04 PM Re: Struggling with Steubenville *Triggers* [Re: TwoSpiritRising]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5780
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Cant:
Useful info here. Remember that unattributed information is likely to trigger folks more. Don't presume that rumors or Internet "facts" are always true.

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#421428 - 01/07/13 09:34 PM Re: Struggling with Steubenville *Triggers* [Re: TwoSpiritRising]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1045
Thanks, Ken.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#421724 - 01/10/13 12:33 AM Re: Struggling with Steubenville *Triggers* [Re: TwoSpiritRising]
TwoSpiritRising Offline


Registered: 11/01/12
Posts: 32
Yup. Sorry. Definitely triggered. Tried to post back for an hour now. Getting all caught up in my head.

Thanks for "getting things straight," anyhow.

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#421752 - 01/10/13 08:27 AM Re: Struggling with Steubenville *Triggers* [Re: TwoSpiritRising]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1045
It's all good.

We all get triggered and let our emotions get the best of us sometimes. Thanks for posting about Steubenville.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#421991 - 01/13/13 01:56 PM Re: Struggling with Steubenville *Triggers* [Re: TwoSpiritRising]
TwoSpiritRising Offline


Registered: 11/01/12
Posts: 32
I still think that strength and resilience is something that comes from a warrior spirit. I'm glad I had this opportunity, though, to feel weakened by my triggers. It's not until you know what you fear that you can cease to be manipulated by it.

Healing. First.

And Resistance!

TwoSpirt

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