I am concerned as well. I don't believe that trying to disable your bowel function is a good thing. If you have a diaper fetish that is one thing but you really need to get help because doing things to your body can cause irrepreriable damage. Please don't damage yourself. Please get help if you need to in order to stop it. You had something really bad happen to you. You are not the bad person. You don't need to harm yourself.
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"
"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"
"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"
"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"