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#420496 - 12/30/12 11:03 PM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
When trying to explain to my wife how since a small boy I have always felt like a sexual object ....

'So you want me to tell you you're ugly?'
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#420499 - 12/30/12 11:14 PM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA

50 years after the abuse, I finally told my mother. She thought briefly, and said: "Well,...you should have told us...Your father would have killed him..."

Sometimes the biggest wounds come from just being shunned without any words at all by your peer group in middle school.

Puffer






Edited by pufferfish (12/31/12 11:23 PM)

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#420503 - 12/31/12 12:08 AM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: pufferfish]
Candu Offline


Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
Not told but. This year I went to a men's resource center that has a CSA program. I finally went and said I was there for thier CSA as I had been sexually abused as a child. His eyes lit up like I was a gift from heaven. Not exactly what I expected.

Then after meeting with an intake counselor I was told they will get back to me shortly to setup a schedual for therapy. After not hearing back for a couple of weeks I called and talked to the Therapist/Administrator. He then emailed me with the following.

Quote:
18/06/2012
Thanks for contacting us tonight. Yes you met with J*** V*********. He referred me to you and I will get back to you in a few days regarding when sessions will begin with your therapist.

I'm still am waiting for the planets to align. frown


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#420545 - 12/31/12 06:48 PM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
Tedure Offline


Registered: 04/17/09
Posts: 203
Loc: Utah
"Are you still struggling with that?"
hmmmmmmmm
_________________________
When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change.

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#420548 - 12/31/12 07:55 PM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3449
Loc: somewhere in Africa
"Why do you want to keep thinking about it so much?"

WANT!!!!????
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#420576 - 01/01/13 03:52 AM . [Re: Randy65]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 09:16 PM)

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#420589 - 01/01/13 11:00 AM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
frankie72 Offline


Registered: 11/23/12
Posts: 32
Loc: Australia
"Why don't you just forget about it" is probably the worst I've heard.

"I'm sorry" is another one that annoys the hell out of me. To me it just comes across as trying to be sympathetic without trying to understand, thinking it will fix everything... or maybe I'm just too hard on people.

My abuser: "I'm sorry. I was just curious and experimenting."


Edited by frankie72 (01/01/13 11:51 AM)
Edit Reason: add

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#420591 - 01/01/13 11:37 AM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
Edward2 Offline


Registered: 09/30/12
Posts: 17
Loc: Maryland
"Did you enjoy it?"

"What did it feel like?"

"You must have liked it since you didn't tell anybody."

"That certainly explains alot about you."

"How could an 8 year old have an erection?"

From an uncle [the one person I told]: "Don't tell your parents; it will kill them."

From the uncle: "Lots of people experience things that they don't like. After all, I recently lost my job. But I will just have to find a new one and forget about the old one. You need to do that as well."

From a therapist I went to at 18 [yes, he should have his license revoked]: "If you keep thinking about it, you'll become a homosexual. You need to think about all the good things that you have in your life."

Happy new year!

Ed

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#420616 - 01/01/13 04:06 PM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Edward2]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Some words from psychotherapists:

You were naked, in Colorado? Was it cold?

Before the torture/abuse began, were you already doing oral... on the other boys?

Puffer

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#420617 - 01/01/13 04:27 PM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
seikei Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/12
Posts: 94
"Why do they have they to sue the church? If you can't have a relationship, then you have other issues besides being moleasted." - Catholic "Friend" (Notice the scare quotes)

My response: "You know nothing."

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